Oooooh Special

Today is our second wedding anniversary. Despite being very traditional in some ways (the stay at home mom, male head of the household stuff) we are actually pretty non-conformist. Hubby and I were together more than four years before we filed any paperwork and it probably would have been longer if the fact that we weren't legally married hadn't come between us and Hubby's paycheck.

In early 2007 Hubby took a promotion that involved a lot of traveling. He was going to be gone 2 weeks here and 3 weeks there, but we were going to be pretty handsomely compensated for it so at the time it worked out for us. There was just one problem-when I went to his home store to pick up his paycheck they wouldn't release it to me because I wasn't a "blood or legal relative".

Hubby signed a note and faxed it to his home store...they still wouldn't part with the check. He called FROM the office phone, confirmed his identity, and ordered them to release his paycheck. No dice. They said they would be happy to mail him his check at his current job site and then he was free to wire money wherever he wanted, and so we did that. For one week.

Do you know how much it costs to wire money?! Seriously. Not. Cheap.

After paying out $50 to send his paycheck half a mile away from where it came from, we were determined to find a less expensive solution. We talked to every HR representative India had to offer (oh yes, the company Hubby worked for did not have an American HR office...they barely had HR representatives that spoke English) they told us that the only other solution would be for them to mail his paycheck to his mother.

Who lived 8 hours away, and would then have to wire me the money. That's completely overlooking the fact that Hubby is a full grown man who shouldn't have to run his paycheck through his Mommy.

ARG!

So we asked our friendly yet nearly incomprehensible representative "Bob" [that's the name he gave us] to list any and all persons who would be able to pick up his paycheck at it's home store. It was a short list. Hubby (who was in another state), his mother or father (who were 8 hours away), his 18 or older child (Monkey was 3), or his wife.

It didn't leave a lot of options. I remember explaining this to Hubby and then saying, "Hey, you get home on Friday, let's run over to Idaho on Saturday and get married. It only costs $18 there, and then I can go pick up your paycheck."

Does that count as a proposal?

Hubby thought so. During the next few weeks I spent $210 and about 3 hours of my time getting rings and a minister who would agree to marry us in the park across the street from the courthouse. We invited only my parents, Hubby's mom and step dad (who have two daughters who were 3 and 5 at the time...obviously they came too), and my husband's two best friends that he has been friends with for more than 13 years.

Our parents of course agreed to come. Hubby's friend's reactions? The first one said, "Huh. I thought you were already married." The second one said, "Well that only took forever. I didn't think you were ever gonna do it the legal way."

Two weeks later we signed the paperwork, I picked up Hubby's paychecks from then on, and we all lived happily ever after.

That's why we don't really celebrate our wedding anniversary-it's kind of anticlimactic. Plus while we have only been married for two years we've been together for more than 6 now and I want credit for that in this day and age where most people separate after 5.

While it was, in our eyes, an entirely unnecessary exercise in bureaucratic paper shuffling-and even though being married on paper didn't really "do" anything in our lives, except of course give me the legal right to his money (woo!)-I would like to take a second of the day to say that I happen to like being Mrs.M. [Yes that is my new blog name!]

My husband is-and has been from the moment we met-the perfect, God-given other half of my soul and I couldn't love anyone more. He is my best friend, my partner, my sounding board, my protector, and my teacher...I couldn't be anywhere else except with him, and I love growing old and gray together.

And, sometimes I'll admit-the title is nice.

Secret Agent Mommy

You know what they say...be careful what you blog-you never know who is reading.

While I don't have to worry about employers or anything, I have kept my blog largely anonymous. I don't have up pictures of anyone's faces, or use any real names, or give my city/state, or anything like that.

Why all the secrecy? I don't want to be identified.

Mostly because I am petrified that someone I know in real life will read what I write. I am a very private person by nature and the thought of my mother in law or some chick I went to 10th grade with reading my inner thoughts and keeping up with my family kind of gives me the shakes. I don't like to be dissected, or judged-and while the also anonymous blog crowd is generally good at not doing so I'm afraid that those I know in real life might not be so kind.

Also, I really dislike the idea of having to edit myself. How am I supposed to write about the horror I feel when I bump into someone from high school or my frustration with holier-than-thou relatives if I know they're out there watching me? I need to get this stuff off my chest, but if I had planned on telling them these things I would have brought it up last time I saw them.

Even if I gave up some of my anonymity I still wouldn't be sending out emails inviting friends and family to stop by-but I know that it is bound to happen (someday) that one of them would see a picture of one of the family, or Google my name or something, and stumble upon my secret treasure of blog thoughts, so I keep pretty tight lipped on here about my Clark Kent side.

There's only one problem....this is MY blog! It's personal, and sometimes that means sharing personal things. I want to post pictures of the kidlets. They are so adorable. Seriously. You should see them. I want you to see them, and to keep pictures of them up for online posterity. I want to be able to write about things going on in my area. I'd like to stop going by "Person aka Mommy". (That's getting more than a little cumbersome.) I'd like to share things about myself with my blog friends! [Except my age. I don't know if I'll ever tell you about my age...I have my reasons.]

That's why I've been thinking about getting a little less anonymous around here, but the thought still makes me very very nervous. How about some input...do you have an all-anonymous blog (no pictures or names or anything)? A semi-anonymous blog (names changed to protect the guilty)? Or are you an out-in-the-open blogger (first and last name posted, house pinpointed on Google maps)? What do you think are the pros and cons of how you approach your blog? How did you pick your style?

Secret Agent Mommy wants to know.

How Much Does Therapy Cost?

This is how I picture it.

Monkey-now a devastatingly handsome, wildly successful, intellectual 25 year old-is laying on a long black sofa opposite a mostly bald, slightly overweight bespectacled man clutching a steno notepad and a ballpoint pen.

We'll call him Dr. Snooty McHeadshrink.

Dr. McHeadshrink looks at my grown son and says sympathetically, "Tell me about your childhood."

Monkey's voice catches, belying his calm exterior as he begins to report everything I've done to him from time immemorial.

"It all started when I was five. My mother was pregnant with my sister The Bean. All I wanted her to do was play with me but instead she turned on the TV, pulled the blanket up to her chin, and took a two hour nap. That's when the cycle of emotional abandonment began."

Snooty McHeadshrink nods sympathetically. "And how did that make you feel?"

"I knew at that moment," says the psychically scarred adult-version of Monkey, "that my mother never really loved me at all!"

You go ahead and laugh. I can see this happening. I can hear my son's heart breaking. I have an overwhelming urge to find Dr. Snooty McHeadshrink and pop him in his condescending kisser.

I can't even say it was an accident. I have been known to black out from exhaustion during pregnancy, but this time I made a fully conscious decision to nap while Baby Bug was napping. It was only supposed to be for a quick minute, a half hour tops, and next thing I know Monkey was tapping me lightly on the shoulder looking at me with puppy eyes and saying in his saddest most neglected-child voice, "Can I have lunch now please? My tummy feels hurty."

His tummy felt hurty!

I. Am. The. Worst. Mom. Ever. My guilt will compel me to pay for his therapy of course, where he can tell Dr. McHeadshrink all about the person who really raised him.

Diego...of "Go Diego Go"...in combination with The Wonderpets.

While none of you (I'm sure) are in the lower-than-dog-poo, leave your child to go hungry category of motherhood like I am, it did make me feel an eensy-weensy bit better to find out from last week's poll that your children do watch TV. Well, except for 3 of you...

Still.

According to last week's poll, 10 out of 21 of you have kids who watch Dora or Diego. No doubt with tummies full of nutritious snackage. Classic cartoons (think Bugs Bunny) and Spongebob were tied for second with 4 out of 21 a piece.

That goes a long way toward me feeling like a human being again. I can almost look myself in the mirror.

Well, until Tuesday when I pull out the snack foods and plop down on the couch to watch The Biggest Loser.



[Do you nosh while watching too? During the UBP I found out that a lot of you do! This week's poll asks about your Biggest Loser snacking habits...answer if you dare!]

Closing Time

Every party ends eventually. No sniffles, now. This doesn't mean we have to say goodbye-you're welcome back anytime! And don't forget, as an extra bonus, a blog party has no clean up.

That's enough to put a smile on anybody's face.

I have met a lot of great people, seen some really neat blogs, and had a really awesome time this past week. I couldn't possibly post about everyone I've encountered (check out the comments on my main party page if you want to meet some great people) but I would really like to recommend a couple of blogs that I will be putting in my blogroll!

Mommy Mo (from Growing Up Mo) and I instantly bonded over a common love of consuming junk food while watching The Biggest Loser. Her writing is so fun and easy to relate to....reading her blog is a must!

I also met Jenny (from Our Nifty Notebook), another homeschooling mom on the interwebz (though her blog is definitely more informational on the subject of homeschooling than mine is). Jenny is super sweet and her blog is full of great ideas and cute posts-check it out, why don'cha?

Kirsty (from Momedy) always has something interesting to say~and the way she says it never fails to crack me up! I am stalking "following" her now and I totally recommend that you do the same.

I also had the good fortune to run into Jessie (from Muthering Heights). She is so sweet, and her posts are so chalk-full of cuteness! She writes intelligently and thoughtfully and has a great blend of sincere honesty and fun. Go to her site for some classy good times.

MamaBub (from Mama Bub) and Kathi (from My Story. My family. My Life.) also stopped by my party this week, and I'm so glad they did! Both of them write with such refreshing honesty, I have loved stopping by their blogs and will definitely continue to do so. (You'll do the same, right?)

As with all good parties, I have had some spicier guests to zest things up this week and I've enjoyed having all of them. Kathleen (from Mama Needs A Cosmo) might not always be "family friendly" but she's won a place in my heart (and blogroll) with her fun irreverant attitude. Amanda (from Nanny Deprived) doesn't write about her kids...just the insane aftermath of them...and it's been so great to find a blog that writes candidly [hilariously isn't a word, is it?] about motherhood.

Check out my blogroll or my main party post page and do some clicking-all of these bloggers deserve many clicks! And to everyone who did come to my party, thank you. I've really enjoyed having you and I hope you hang around for awhile.

Wanna celebrate UBP 2010 with me?

[Back to Main UBP post]

Confession Time

This is the part where I'm exposed as a fraud. During the Ultimate Blog Party 2009 I had planned on giving one party post per day about different aspects of parties. I've talked about socializing, food, and entertainment.

And now I'm stumped.

The truth is that I am not really a "party" kind of gal. In fact, don't tell anyone I told you this, but I'm actually pretty boring. That's not something that's going to draw a crowd to the blog, but that's just real life. I am a stay at home mom of soon-to-be-three kids...I never go to parties (unless you count birthday parties for family members under 10, or family gatherings where everyone hangs out, plays Wii, and eats my parent's food). In fact I spend most of my life in my running/pajama/yoga pants, I nearly always smell like some combination of sweat/cleaner/baby pee (hopefully light on the baby pee), and I only put on make up if someone is getting married, someone died, or I'm going to the Ob's office.

To be honest, it's not even the kids' fault really--I also have a horrible, cranky anti-social side. 99.9% of the time I would rather spend my free moments reading a good book and relaxing in the bathtub than hanging out with anyone. Except Hubby (and the kids some days)...I could hang out with them forever and be completely happy.

Still-this does not a good party hostess make.

And since we're going down the road of brutal honesty here, you probably don't want to be in my house either. I mean, it's not a biohazard. So that's good. But no matter how many times I pick up and clean every day (three, usually) by the time I wake up in the morning the house gremlins have snuck in and ground cheerios into my carpet, colored one tiny thing on every scrap of paper available, unrolled all rolls of toilet paper, and dirtied every single dish in the joint.

It looks like what comes after a party.

Don't get me wrong, it's been so much fun getting to know everyone...but I especially like that in order to do so I don't have to get dressed, put on make up, scour my floors, or leave my house.

Moms know what I mean.

I hope you all are enjoying my blog party as much as I am, and that I don't scare you away with my occasional cranky-fest...I just thought now that we're such good friends I should give you a glimpse of my reality!

THIS is more like it.

[Back to Main UBP post]

Babies R Here

As predicted, I did unfortunately miss two whole days of Ultimate Blog Party 2009. However, in my defense, I have a super-excellent totally valid excuse.

Two of them even.

My first excuse is that MY NIECE WAS BORN! Oh, I am so in love with her. Little Chloe was born March 22 a little after 8pm. She weighed 8lbs 1oz and was 20 3/4 inches long. She has a full head of hair and bright pink, round little cheeks and a sweet little button nose just like my sister! I can't wait to fill her up with junk food and otherwise spoil the crap out of her. Mommy and Daddy are exhausted but doing well, and everyone is coming home tomorrow morning. My baby sister had a baby! I'm so proud of her (and her hubby, who has been a SAINT during this whole pregnancy-labor thing). Woo hoo for my baby sister and her little family!

My second, also totally reasonable, excuse is also baby related-only this time, it's my baby. The Bean has followed in the footsteps of her sister and decided to dilate me super early. You know, just for funsies. I was having some pressure and cramps and back pain and....well, other grosser things I won't share but isn't my water breaking or blood....so the doc wanted to check me out. I went in and they did a pelvic and found out that I am already 2 cm dilated with a soft cervix-and I just got to 31 weeks as of yesterday! The good news is that I have a history of doing this but no history of preterm labor, and I had a negative fetal fibronectin which means I'm almost definitely not going into "real labor" anytime in the next two weeks. The bad news is that means that I will probably continue to be in painful/uncomfortable slo-mo labor and be constantly harassed monitored until they induce me in approximately 8 weeks. Boo. The other good news is our baby girl is strong and healthy.....no matter how insane she is making her mother.

I go to the doctors again tomorrow to get poked prodded and otherwise generally annoyed monitored. Exciting. Hey-maybe if I'm lucky I'll get to see another ultrasound of The Bean. Wish me luck--and wish my sister luck too. She's a first time mommy and she might need it even more than I do!

Party Rule #3: Entertain the Masses

Unless you are Houdini-talented, or catering to a room of 5 year olds, I do not recommend whipping out your magic skills for this one. So how do you keep people interested and mingling at your party? Depends on what you're doing and who is involved.

The best. games. ever. for a non-occasion party (informal but larger gathering) come from the Wii. I am seriously in love with this little contraption-and I am definitely not a "gamer" (though if you are Hubby reports you will probably not enjoy the Wii as much).

Pro: Regardless of your video game feelings, you'll almost definitely have fun playing group games on the Wii....my favorites being Rock Band (2 guitars, drums, and a mic let everyone play...or take turns playing on teams) and Mario Party 8. which are both great games for multiple players where everyone can have fun and a little friendly competition. Also pro: once the guests go home there are approximately 1,001 educational/physical fitness games for the kiddos to play!

Con: Probably not an ideal game for grandma-unless the grandma in question is a very, very young hip and active grandma like MY kids' grandma who actually introduced us to the system-or for little ones, so pick your crowd wisely. Also con: at very large parties not everyone would get to play at the same time.

So what do you do at occasion parties? Occasion parties usually have themes, so it depends on the occasion. Let's say the occasion was, for instance, I don't know.........a co-ed baby shower. [That thought just occured to me for no particular reason. :)]

The theme here is obviously "someone is popping out a kid!" so it's going to be baby-centric, but with a co-ed shower it gets a little tricky. Some "traditional" baby shower games are definitely not "guy friendly". The top three guy-shower no nos are:

Guess-How-Fat-The Pregnant-Lady-Is: You know this game. The one where you use toilet paper or ribbon or (God forbid) a measuring tape and then place bets on just how big around "planet mommy" is. First of all, it is my personal opinion that this game shouldn't be played at any baby shower-no preggo wants to take bets on her shamoo like appearance-but it especially isn't fair to the guys in the room who always "lose" (even when they win) when it comes to guessing a woman's weight or size.

Sniff the Diaper: Let's face it-guys are not nearly as enamored with all things baby as we ladies are. They are not interested in baby poop. Not even if it's really just baby food smushed into a pair size one Pampers.

How Many Baby Items Can You Name: Guys are at a distinct disadvantage here. Unless you are going to count "that thingy with the thing and the strap on it" as an acceptable discription of "baby sling".

So what are good games for a co-ed shower? Here are my favorites:

Let's Make A (Playdough) Baby: Each person (or couple) gets a ball of playdough, and the mom-and-dad-to-be leave the room. The people/teams then have 5 minutes to "make a baby". They can try to make it realistic, or funny, or whatever-the whole point is to grab the new parents' attention. After 5 minutes the new parents will come in and pick their favorite "baby" and the winner(s) get a prize.

Parent Swap: (This is an outdoor relay race.) Couples line up on different ends of the yard-dads on one side and moms on the other. When the timer (usually the pregnant lady) says go, the dads grab one potato from a sack of 10lb potatoes. They shove the bag under their shirt, and put the single "potato baby" between their knees. Holding the sack of potatoes with one hand they cross the yard and "deliver the baby" (drop the potato between their knees into a bucket at the mom's feet). They give the mom the sack of potatoes, and she dumps it into the bucket. Then, holding the bucket of potatoes with both hands she "goes to work", crossing the yard and then piling the potatoes into a stack at the other end. First couple to finish wins!

Dressing Baby: Teams of two stand one on each side of a naked baby doll. When the timer goes off, they have to dress their baby together...but each person uses only their "inside" hand. First couple to completely dress their baby wins!

In the end there will be hits and misses in the entertainment department at every gathering. Just keep people involved and eventually you'll find something that everyone loves. My favorite party game?

Blogging about it when it's all over.

[Back to Main UBP post]

Party Rule #2: Bring On the Grub!

(Yes, I said grub. I warned you about my thing with the 90s.)
About once a month my family has a "party" at my parent's house where all of us kids bring our spouses and offspring over and try (usually unsuccessfully) to kick the parent's butts at Rock Band. Great fun is had laughing at each other's expenses, but the best part is the food.

I don't know about you but when I go to parties I go straight to the food, and that goes triple for when I'm pregnant. I'll talk politely to people of course-Nick Jr taught me well-but usually only if they are directly intersecting my path to the food....and then only for a minute.

At my parent's house I don't even have to be polite. I just walk right in, go straight to the fridge and start browsing. Normally I would not bother browsing and just go straight to consuming, but this year my sister in law, sister, and I have all been pregnant (my sister in law had my nephew last month, my sister is due in 5 days, and I am due in May) so out of a spirit of sisterhood we try not to eat the cupboards bare before the other preggos get there. As soon as the last one of us walks in the door though we converge on my parent's fridge like ravenous mountain lions...then proceed to devour and/or critique everything in there.

So what party foods do three pregnant women consider a "score"?

First? Party Platters. It has the word "party" right in the name for a reason. Party Platters of all varieties-veggie, fruit, meat, and Mexican being our top four-are like build your own heavens. You can get the best of everything, and leave whatever you don't want! It's especially ideal for pregnant women with those spur of the moment "food swings", but I truly believe that Party Platters are good for all ages and both genders because of their delicious simplicity and flexibility.

Another awesome find is bread with dip. Who doesn't love some sourdough bread dipped in spinach-artichoke dip? Warm or cold, we all agree it's the best. Still, if you're not vegetationally inclined like we are there's always the equally awesome bean dip and chips or cheese dip with bread OR chips (or both!).

If we're looking for something substantial, we're always happy to happen upon some quiche (though don't get us arguing about which kind!) or some twice baked potatoes...both of which are available in grocery store frozen sections in the "mini" version if you're looking to feed a lot of people a little bit. If your feeding a swarm of preggos however, I recommend staying full-size.

In the end, no matter what we pull out of our parent's fridge it all comes down to dessert. MMMMMMMMMMMM. Ice cream, brownies, cookies, pies.....yep. Dessert is the best part. And the best dessert is Pan Cookies! I will give you our family recipe for what can only be described as The World's Best Dessert. Ever.

Pan Cookies

You'll Need:

• 1 Stick Butter (1/2 Cup)
• 1 1/2 Cups Graham Craker Crumbs
• 1 Cup Walnuts, coarsely chopped
• 1 Cup Chips (most people use milk chocolate, we use 1/2 white & 1/2 milk chocoloate)
  
• 1 1/3 Cups Coconut
• 1 can Sweetened Condensed Milk
• 13 X 9 1/2 baking pan

Step 1
Preheat oven to 350 degrees (or 325 for a glass pan). Melt butter.

Step2

Mix hot melted butter and grahm cracker crumbs, press into the bottom of the pan.

Step3

Coarsely chop walnuts.

Step4
Pour Sweetened Condensed Milk evenly across top of coconut

Step5
Sprinkle chopped walnuts over grahm cracker
Step6

Sprinkle chips evenly across the pan

Step7

Sprinkle coconut evenly across the pan-press all ingredients down firmly with a fork

Step8

Bake for about 25 minutes or until coconut starts to turn brown

Step9

Cool completely and then cut into pieces

Voila! Delicious delicious pan cookies to go with your tasty tasty party snacks. Your party is now a success!


(Back to Main UBP post)

Party Rule #1: Be Nice To Your Friends!

Like all of the most important things in life, I have learned social skills and emotional intelligence from our friends at Nick Jr.

Have you seen Ni Hao Kai-Lan? (You can watch clips here on the Nick Jr site.)

Oh. My. Seriously. Isn't that the cutest show you ever saw? It is the biggest thing since Dora and I think it's fabulous! It's like therapy for the 5 and under crowd...but you know, with cute little cartoons who have giant Anime-looking eyes. On Kai-Lan kids learn about understanding non-verbal emotional cues, dealing with emotions appropriately, empathy, and supporting their friends. Plus there are songs. Monkey loves it.

As if that wasn't enough, you can also get such informational social tips as Don't Bite Your Friends (brought to you by rockin' indie kid-show Yo Gabba Gabba).



So I guess what I'm saying is thanks to the miracle of Nick Jr. television I am now socially adept enough to hang out with people online. [Woo?]

This Ultimate Blog Party is just getting started! Stay awhile, hang out-I promise I don't bite (anymore).

(Back to Main UBP post)

Mix N Mingle!

The Ultimate Blog Party 2009! Woo!

I'm a second year party-goer, and a lot has changed for me since UBP 2008....I even took a blogging hiatus! Luckily for me, my (personally triumphant but largely unnoticed) return to the interwebz is just in time to get to mingle with a whole new group of blog ladies!

Let me introduce myself. I'm Mommy (aren't we all?) and I am the stay at home unschooling mom of 3 kids-our wonderful son Monkey just turned 5, our oldest girl Baby Bug (whose pregnancy and birth was chronicled in part on this very blog) turned 1 in February, and I am 31 weeks pregnant with our second daughter-The Bean. I am very happily married to my other half of going on 7 years now, and we live in the Pacific Northwest. In my spare time I have been known to do some blog design (though I will still change my own layout with shameless frequency), I am obsessed with the 90s, and one of my favorite past times is porking out on junk food while watching The Biggest Loser.

I'm going to try to write a party post every day this week...which will-realistically-roughly translate into 3-5 posts I'm sure. Still, check them out:

Party Rule#1: Be Nice to Your Friends! (The things you can learn from Nick Jr.)

Party Rule#2: Bring on the Grub! (What pregnant women want)

Party Rule#3: Entertain the Masses (If you're gonna have a party (especially a co-ed baby shower) you have to have games!)

Party Post--Confession Time (The hostess minus the mostest)

Party Post--Closing Time (Even good parties must come to an end)

Thanks for visiting~you're welcome back anytime-I can't wait to meet all of you!

****************

I forgot about prizes! I can't believe it, but I seriously did. Good thing I remembered, I love free stuff! There are so many great prizes, but the ones I am most interested in are (in order):

*USC 58 — Handmade Retro Apron; Provided by: Kati @ Country Girl, City Life and Boojiboo
*1 — $100 gift certificate to either Pedal Cars and Retro or A Rocking Horse To Love; Provided by: 5 Minutes for Mom
*7 — Ergo Baby Carrier;Provided by: A Giveaway Addicted Mommy
*107 — Gift certificate for 20 Scrapless Press photo birth announcements or party invitations; Provided by: Scrapless Press
*19,21,22 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores;Provided by: Shoot-Me-Now , Agoosa , or Beginner Baby Blog
*USC 55 — An Elegant Baby Chocolate Fashion Set;Provided by: Che’ Demi’s Boutique

A big thank you to everyone who put in prizes!!!

Are You a Bob or a Jillian?

So I was eating junk food and watching The Biggest Loser-which has become my own personal ritual of irony-when I was thinking that Bob and Jillian can be more like parents than trainers...and then I thought "well, aren't most parents just trainers anyway?"-and most parents, I think, lean to the "Bob" or the "Jillian" side.

Bob and Jillian couldn't be more opposite in training techniques. As Bob's Bio on the Biggest Loser site points out:

Bob "adopts an "inside-out" philosophy in which he builds a relationship with each client. First he motivates them to realize their potential and their sense of self-worth. Then he helps them to develop habits -- and ways of thinking and acting -- which enrich and uplift them physically, emotionally and spiritually."

The difference between his approach and Jillian's is instantly recognizable. On her own site, she is billed as "tough as nails" and "the toughest trainer on TV"...which certainly would never be applied to Bob's gooey marshmallow-centered coaching.

When I think about it, both approaches have their pros and cons. The "Bob" method is a lot gentler on the surface, but can be tough when it needs to. He relies heavily on the fact that the people he is training are very motivated not to see him disappointed-not because he'll yell and scream but because he'll support you anyway and the guilt is smothering. The results of the "Bob" method are not quick and remarkable so much as a gradual change, but throughout the experience there is a peaceful bond between Bob and the person in training.

The Jillian method is the school of hard knocks, always pushing her people to be on the ball-going harder, going farther, and getting there faster-she focuses on getting them out of their comfort zones, but can be sensitive to people’s needs if the occasion really calls for it. The results of the "Jillian" method are amazing and pretty much instant, but it takes time for people to figure out that she's really working for their own good and truly appreciate and respect what she does.

Now think how that relates to parenting. There is definitely a spectrum-I don't think most parents would fall completely under "Bob" or "Jillian"-but no matter where you are you have a leaning for the authoritarian results oriented Jillian style or the relationship oriented Bob style.

I myself am definitely a Bob. I would rather sit down and discuss things with the kids, and even if I have to be stern I’m always careful to listen to them and keep our relationship a priority. I’m willing to wait for results--and I very often do. Then again, I was raised by two Jillians.

My husband-raised by a single mom Bob parent-is definitely a Jillian. He demands instant results from our children, and pretty much gets them (to the extent that is possible with a 5 year old and a 1 year old). He is tough because he loves them and wants them to do better for their own good, and he doesn't want them to spend time doing the wrong thing and hurting themselves. It all comes from a place of love and devotion, but sometimes manages to really upset the kids.

I’m eternally grateful that our kids will get to be raised by both a Bob and a Jillian (unlike my hubby and I who were raised by one kind or the other) and hopefully the combination of compassion and tough love will make our children well rounded. In theory. That's the goal anyway.

So, which are you? Or maybe someone had both a Bob and a Jillian parent--how did that effect you?

Kiss Me!

In honor of St. Patty's Day, I am giving away free Irish kisses! [of varying intimacy, valid only in my household, void where prohibited, not redeemable for cash value]

For those of you not blessed with an Irish Kiss this holiday, there are still some other fun ways to celebrate.

You can learn about St. Patrick-for instance, did you know he wasn't Irish?-and the history of the holiday.

For the culinarily inclined St. Patty's is an excellent excuse to get creative! Try some traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage, or impress your significant other and thrill your kids with some delicious Green Eggs and Ham.

Going with green beer this year? Learn some Irish Toasts! Here are some fun ones:

As you slide down the banisters of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.

An old Irish recipe for longevity:
Leave the table hungry.
Leave the bed sleepy.
Leave the bar thirsty.

Here's to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint-- and another one!

There are good ships,
and there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships, are friendships,
And may they always be.

If you're more like me, you can snuggle up with a good book-Gulliver's Travels, The Chronicles of Narnia, Angela's Ashes, and The Picture of Dorian Grey are all written by people from the Emerald Isle.

There are so many ways to have fun on St. Patrick's Day, and you don't even have to be Irish! Have fun, and don't forget to wear your green!

May your blessings outnumber
The Shamrocks that grow
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.

Happy Birthday Baby

My baby boy turned FIVE ♥ That's right. Monkey. Five. I'm in shock.

Every time I look at him I know that it was his tiny little face, and his little bitty hands, and his trusting and loving heart that forever changed me from Person to Mommy. The moment he was born I was changed in ways that I still can't fully grasp or appreciate. I thought I knew about love and devotion and faith until my tiny little first born cried his very first cry. I have never felt such an instant and overwhelming sense of love as when I first heard his voice, and I cried when they put him in my arms.

I will never forget the very first things I said to him:

"Hello, my sweet baby. I'm your mommy and I love you more than I can ever explain. I am so happy to finally meet you. I am so proud of you-you did a great job being born, and I will love you and be proud of you every day for as long as I live."

And I knew, right then, that he was the reason I was born.

Since then everything is passing in the blink of an eye. I will never forget bringing him home from the hospital and staying up all night-while he slept peacefully-just to watch him breathe. I still look at him and see my sweet little baby, looking up at me with his big wide eyes and wrapping his little hand around my fingers while he nursed. I know that I'll always be able to instantly recall what it was like to have his tiny little body curled up next to mine at night, and watch him with the moonlight on his face, smelling his little head and knowing that is exactly what heaven must smell like.

And look-in the blink of an eye life is going by so fast. My tiny little newborn baby is walking around exploring the world. He can read and write, he nurtures his sister, he emulates his Daddy, he's forming thoughts and opinions and becoming his own person and I am slowly changing from the center of his world into one that is just blessed enough to watch and guide him. It is almost a kind of tragic beauty knowing that someday-much much sooner than I'd like-he'll be all grown up and leaving the nest...the man that I created. I'd be lying if I said that I am not a little devastated.

Still, there is another part of me that is so excited and fascinated with watching him grow. Now that he’s five we’re going to start enrolling him in different activities as apart of unschooling-this year he’s going to do Martial Arts, a drawing class, and volunteer work at the Humane Society. MY baby is going to be doing things and making friends and LIVING HIS OWN LIFE WITHOUT ME (in one hour increments, of course)! I am so amazed, and yes still proud, watching him grow up and I am so grateful that such a wonderful little person is apart of our lives. Every day he says or does something fantastic and new and I can see the man he'll someday be peeking out from behind his rocket ship pajamas. It's so exciting...and terrifying...and extraordinary.

I want him to stay five forever! Then again, I wanted him to stay four....and three...and newborn...but I can't catch a shooting star, or take a picture of my innermost feelings, and I know I can't keep him a little boy forever.

Still no matter how old he gets or how manly he becomes, even someday when he has children of his own, I will look at him and see that precious little baby-the perfect amazing little boy that made me Mommy.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Flowers are nice. Diamonds are flashy. Dinner and a movie is a thoughtful gift for two.

But what is the best gift you can get for a wife that's 30 weeks pregnant with your third child? A 3 1/2 hour nap and a sparkling gorgeously clean house, of course! Today I got just that. I slept-in the middle of the day, with no interruptions, in complete peace and quiet. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that the experience was magical-but to walk downstairs after such a pleasant nap and find the dishes done, the toys put away, the floors swept and mopped and vacuumed...I seriously teared up for a minute there.

My husband even cleaned out the catch-all hall closet that I have been avoiding for at least a month now!

Seeing him and the kids happily (and quietly) playing in a pristine house through fully rested eyes is better than every diamond and every piece of chocolate in the world combined. I can't believe how spoiled I am!

Now....how can I return the favor?

In Recent News...

I did not fall off the face of the planet!

It is shameful-positively shameful-that I have not blogged in almost a year. It's not for lack of material, I assure you. In fact, I've had so many things to blog about that real life just ended up getting in the way entirely.

So what have I been doing in the last 9 months? What haven't I been doing?!

When I left you last June it was because we were trying to move. It seemed like a simple enough project, but alas-every time we managed to put together enough money for moving costs we had another unexpected and ridiculously expensive bill (isn't that how it always works?). Luckily, since we were moving toward the grandparents (who love and missed their grandchildren) they were very motivated to help us and, in a very generous gesture, offered to let us stay with them for a month to save a little extra money for move in costs to our new apartment.

It was a completely doable plan...until Hubby's job (which had transferred him to our new location) surprised him by cutting his hours to 18 hours a week.

So we extended our stay with my in laws just a little bit. No problem.

Until, because of that whole economy tanking thing, the standards for credit on apartment applications seemed to jump overnight. When you already have particularly terrible credit, this is not good news. The "one month, plus a little bit" ended up becoming indefinite.

No matter how much you love your in laws this is not a good idea-and it is especially not a good idea when there is something significantly less pleasant than love between you and your mother in law. It's easy to be civil over dinner or for a few weeks, but living together for any extended period of time (especially when there is no end in sight) is....well, unpleasant.

It becomes even more unpleasant when you have to look them in the eye after living with them for nearly two months-while your husband works just 18 hours a week and you are rejected daily from apartments that cockroaches wouldn't live in-and tell them that you are pregnant with your third child. New Baby Girl~13w2d Ultrasound

I don't think I've seen anyone turn that particular shade of furious before. It was truly awesome scientific phenomena that would have been worth studying if it weren't directed at me.

Thankfully, God heard my panicky prayers and things started picking up. Hubby was promoted to a new position which guaranteed 40 hours per week, and got a little pay bump to go with it. The private owner of a gorgeous 3bd/2.5ba 1500 sqft brand-spanking-new townhouse decided that we were good, hardworking people and practically gave us the place-no credit check, no first and last months rent-just days after we were turned down on yet another 1bd/1 ba 550sq ft public housing apartment. We moved in just before Christmas, and things have been going great!
Our Pretty, Pretty Living/Dining Area

We took January to get settled in, and February was busy with prenatal appointments and celebrating Baby Bug's FIRST BIRTHDAY (I can't believe she's a year old!!), and now it's March already. I'm starting my every two week OB/GYN appointments this week, Monkey will be turning 5 next Friday and we're having his party the following Saturday, then we're having the baby shower (my first ever!) in April, and having the new baby (another little girl!) in May. While it may seem like we're still going a thousand miles an hour (and I guess I am really)
things have gotten back into a nice-busy-routine.
I'm so excited to finally be able to get all of this stuff on paper....well, you know what I mean....and I'm hoping I can visit everyone's blogs really soon.

YAY! Time to start blogging again!

New Baby Bump 27w3d(a little bit ago)>>>>