I'm Honored, Really!

Mimi of Screaming Mimi (a brand new bloggy friend) has awarded me-yes awarded....me....-the Let's Be Friends Award!



"The Let's be Friends award stands for this: These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind of bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers."

Me-charming? Kind? Seeking out friends? Quickly! Alert Hubby that I have developed social skills! [I think interweb social skills count just as much as real life people skills, don't you?]

There are so many great bloggers I could pass this on to-but those that immediately pop into my mind for recent friendliness are:

Jen from Kitchen Table Parenting

Jenny from Our Nifty Notebook

Jessie from Muthering Heights

Kat from The Atomic Mom

Mama Bub

Kathleen from Mama Needs A Cosmo

Kiy from Rocking Chairs and a Tricycle

Mommy Mo from Growing Up Mo'

Thank you, Screaming Mimi, for the very sweet award and for putting Hubby's fears of my impending hermithood a little more at ease.

Blog Reader

I have been doing a lot of blog hopping lately. Don't worry, I have lots to write about (just in case you were worried) but there are a lot of people out there far more talented than I....and their stuff is awesome.

I have of course my good old go-to favorites that I visit frequently. Unfortunately Helen from I Forgot Where I Was Going With This, who I consider the most super awesome blog sensai of hilariousness ever, has been out due to surgery on her karate choppin'/blog writing arm. I wish her well and not-so-patiently await her triumphant return to writing!

While I am a loyal follower of my old blog friends (like Suzie and Wifey) I also enjoy meeting new people! I made a lot of new friends during the Ultimate Blog Party 2009 and they have become fast favorites. Favorites like Kirsty from Momedy who besides being super sweet and having just the most adorable blog look (why yes, that is shameless self promotion!) also has the. most. hilarious. posts. I wish I had read the post about dogs fulfilling the need to have a new baby about 36 1/2 weeks ago!

I kid. Mostly.

I was also lucky enough to meet Jessie from Muthering Heights, the owner of an alternately sweet and adorable blog as well as two even more adorable little girls. Besides her excellent writing, there is a definite connection in finding another pregnant-with-their-third mommy writer. I love her posts and relate to them so easily, especially her recent post about her little unborn Krump dancer.

I there are many blogs that I frequent and love (see:my blogroll for a list of must-reads!) but I still continue seeking out new bloggy friends. The reason is two fold. First of all you can never have enough fun things to read (am I right?) and secondly-I'll admit-I love the idea of more and more people visiting me here at my own humble page. Getting lots of visitors and even (OH JOY!!) comments makes me very happy (and kind of codependent I guess).

I used to think that my codependency neediness desire to have visitors and commenters was just yet another sign that I am a sad sad little hermit lady...but it turns out there are LOTS of other lady bloggers that feel just like me! [If I'm not the only one, then I must not be that bad, right?] I stumbled upon The Secret is in the Sauce (also known as SITS) and boy am I glad I did! Not only is it great promotion for my own little blog, but I have found some great blogs via their site.

Blogs like Just Lisa, No Filler, which recently posted a sweetly hilarious post about the questions her little girl asks, and Mommy? I'm Hungry! which not only shares some delicious recipes for things like Sugar Doughnut Muffins and Cold Chicken Pasta Salad but also has the most drool worthy food pictures I have ever seen. I can literally taste that food through the photos...and it is tasty.

I just love reading your blogs, and I am so looking forward to returning again and again to my bloggy friend's pages-both old and new! You guys are some amazing people...and good writers too!

And no, I'm not just saying that so that you'll keep visiting and leave comments. Though I wouldn't be sad if you did.

I Know Something You Don't Know

I know when The Bean is going to be born!

Okay okay-I'll tell you. (You've worn me down.)

We're officially scheduled to induce on May 18th [see:happy rainbow countdown ticker in the sidebar for a painstakingly exact (but still adorable) calculation of my remaining wait]! I feel so relieved, and so excited!

I did get a little antsy when I read the fine print. Due to my history of early and far progressed dilation with Baby Bug, plus the short labor with her, the doctor has amended the induction date to "May 18th OR 4cm dilated, whichever comes first (but after 37 weeks)". I'm not 37 weeks quite yet, but I will be before my next appointment-which means that if I reach 4cm by then (I'm 2cm now) I could in theory have The Bug late next week sometime! I like that it would be planned, but that just seems SO SOON! I'd really prefer to wait until 39 weeks...but I'd also prefer to make sure that the kidlets are supervised, Hubby comes with me, and I get to the hospital in time to have my epidural-something I couldn't guarantee if I was walking around 4+ cm.

I should really get on the ball and pack that labor bag...I wonder if I can even find the labor bag...did I remember to buy one? I guess I can just use one of Baby Bug's diaper bags, or the backpack Hubby won for free at Best Buy-that has a lot of pockets. [Is there any doubt this is our third child?]

There's a lot to do in the next 20 days (or less), but not even the insane amount of preparation I have to do can take away from the fact that we get to meet our brand new baby girl in less than three weeks!

Yay!

Now I'm off to (hopefully) find that labor bag I may or may not have remembered to buy.

It's The Final Countdown!

I am generally a patient person. Okay, not really....I should clarify--when it comes to the Hubby and kids I am generally a patient wife and parent. As a person, I'm not so much with the long suffering. I prefer things to be quick, efficient, organized, and above all PLANNED....

So you can see how pregnancy might be difficult for me (and those unfortunate people who love me and might occasionally be within 100 yards of me). There is very little planning involved in pregnancy including-for us-pregnancy itself (unplanned in our household 66% of the time). My husband is virile enough to impregnate me via a toilet seat.

Of course the next 10 months following said porcelain encounter is always long, hectic, and unpredictable to a degree which makes me turn into insane-o-woman (like I'm not already crazy enough as it is). There are a lot of things I find infuriating aggravating inconvenient about pregnancy, but thought of going into labor "at any moment" tends to make me more basket-case-y than anything else. Talk about an inability to plan and be organized! Just the thought of waking up in the middle of the night on just a random night and having to rush to the hospital all haphazardly makes me grind my teeth.

I know a lot of people do it. Heck, most people do it. I once planned on doing it, despite my natural aversion to the idea. When I was pregnant with Monkey I thought for sure I'd be making the midnight run....and just the thought of that level of panicked hurry bothered me so much that I packed FOUR labor bags (containing nearly my entire house) in preparation for the baby dash. Then my due date came.

And went.

I went to 41 weeks.

Then 42 weeks.

Then 43 weeks....at which point I developed preeclampsia and they had to induce me. It was an emergency induction, so it wasn't quite the same experience as a planned birth, but I definitely had an appreciation for the mechanical clockwork like planning involved.

When I was pregnant with the Baby Bug I looked very fondly back on the relatively planned nature of my previous induction with a fond little sigh...but I was still willing to go the middle of the night route so long as I didn't go overdue-THAT will never happen again. Ever. That time around I only had a single labor bag (experience is the best teacher) but it was ready (if unhappy) to grab and go. Unfortunately, I developed gallstones during my pregnancy and by the end I was actually passing gallstones and doing liver damage. I was losing weight every week (I lost nearly 30lbs during my pregnancy), and was in horrible pain. Then there was that whole thing about being nearly 4cm dilated and 100% effaced but somehow managing NOT to go into labor. [Wha?! ARG!] So with Baby Bug we had a planned (but medically necessary) induction.

It was beautiful. Quick (4h 50m from first pitocin drip to crying baby), efficient, painless (I love epidurals), planned...everything I've ever dreamed of. It was a flawless labor.

This time around I have a choice. I don't need an induction for medical reasons-this pregnancy has actually been my easiest!-and there is no foreseeable reason why I would need an emergency induction/c-section (though I suppose by their very natures emergencies are unpredictable). I could wait and have The Bean in a middle of the night hospital dash if I wanted to.

Turns out I don't want to though-thank GOD there is such a thing as a social induction. (Sorry if I am offending any "natural labor" people.) With my previous labor being less than 5 hours, us living 45 minutes away from the hospital, and with the kidlets needing to wait for grandma and grandpa to pick them up before we leave (of course Gma and Gpa live an hour and a half to two hours away depending on traffic) the only thing that would stop us from getting a social induction would be if my body wasn't ready-I'm not going to force anything that I'm not prepared for....good thing there are no worries on that front. My cervix already 2cm-70%-and soft, and I'm already having mild-to-moderate contractions 3-5 times an hour. [Sorry men who might have accidentally wandered onto this post....]

Translation? Let's do this thing. (And by "do" I mean "birth" and by "thing" I mean "baby".) I have an appointment in the morning with my OB and we should be scheduling my induction date. I'm aiming for May 18th....wish me luck~tomorrow (all things going the way I want them to) we should find out The Bean's expected birthday!!!

Woo-Hoo! Thank You and Goodnight.

This is it, folks-my 100th post. It's a little belated....I mean, a lot of bloggers knock out this milestone in three months or less and I started aaaaall the way back in January of 08....but I finally made it!

In my eyes I've better than just made it-I am really enjoying the whole blogging experience now! I'm posting with something resembling consistency. I have followers-beautiful, beautiful followers all 10 of you. I also have a beautiful design that I might actually stick to this time....no promises though.

Going back through my archives I can watch my writing style and quality get better. Even Hubby has determined my blog to be entertaining enough to read on a regular basis...and I think that really says something since he experiences this stuff first hand and then likes my writing enough to read about it later.

Or maybe he's just afraid that if he said he didn't like it the pregnancy hormone beast would eat him. Whatever-I'll take what I can get.

So what can I do to celebrate this, my 100th post? I thought about doing the "100 Things About Me" post, but quickly realized that there are not 100 fascinating things about me...so I've opted instead for TEN Top Ten lists! That's right, you get 100 things, and they're kind of about me....but you know, more interesting. [Sidenote: Ranking my favorites seems disloyal to me (I'm weird, I know) so please consider everyone on each list "tied for first"!]

The Ten Best Bands/Artists of All Time
-Cake
-The Dixie Chicks
-The Cranberries
-Lauryn Hill
-Ray Charles
-Johnny Cash
-The Presidents of the United States of America
-Alanis Morissette
-Bonnie Raitt
-Garth Brooks


The Ten Books I Could Read Over and Over Again
-Wuthering Heights
-The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (though I guess that's technically more than one book)
-Dumbing Us Down
-Where The Red Fern Grows
-The Forsythe Saga
-1984
-America (The Book)
-The Poisonwood Bible
-Gone With The Wind
-Anne of Green Gables (the whole series, of course)


The Top Ten Websites I Love
-Blogger
-Statcounter
-Facebook
-YouTube
-Bible Gateway
-Google
-WebMD
-i-am-pregnant.com
-Baby Center
-Wikipedia


My Top Ten Favorite Pasttimes
-Sleeping
-Blogging
-Reading.
-Napping
-Talking politics
-Snoozing
-Debating and discussing with Hubby
-Siestas
-Talking on the phone
-Quiet time (with my eyes closed)

My Top Ten Go-To Excuses
-The baby is crying
-I can't, that's during nap time
-Let me ask Hubby [He said no]
-I only got like two hours of sleep last night (sadly, this is nearly always true)
-I promised Monkey we'd go get a Happy Meal (most effective when said directly in front of him so that he starts yelling "HAPPY MEAL MOMMY I LOVE HAPPY MEAL I LOVE YOU LETS GO!!!!"]
-Pregnancy exhaustion
-Baby brain
-Back pain
-Doctor's appointments
-I got lost on the way

The Ten Youth Subcultures I Find Most Interesting
-Hipsters
-Emo Kids
-Grungers
-Hackers
-Greasers
-Nerds
-Bohos
-Flappers
-Swing Kids
-Beatniks


The Ten BEST Things About Being A Mommy
-Hearing your baby say I love you
-Getting snuggles
-Reading bedtime stories
-Watching them learn something new
-Getting a compliment from your kid(s) (You're the best mommy EVER!)
-Kids say HILARIOUS things-just ask Bill Cosby
-Watching your babies do the right thing (be kind, share, etc)
-Finding out who your child is and all about their individual personality
-Seeing yourself and your spouse in a new generation of people
-Making a lot of fun family memories


The Ten WORST Things About Being A Mommy
-Lack
-Of
-Sleep (counts as three things)
-There are no vacations-not even unpaid ones
-There are no sick days...no matter how sick you are
-The pay, while fabulous in an intangible way, cannot buy your groceries
-Sharing your body for 10 months mostly sucks
-The word Mom is extremely expressive and will be expressed in many negative ways-with attitude (M-oo-om!), in a scream ("MOOOOOOOM!"), in anger (Mom! Mommy!)...you see where this is going
-"Someone" is going to have to clean all this up/cook dinner/sew this button...Mommy is always "Someone"
-You will, more likely than not, at any given time, be wearing a bodily fluid (spit up, poo, pee, snot....)

Ten Reasons Why I Blog
-To record my memories about life in general, Hubby, the kids, etc.
-To vent
-To write (which I think is fun)
-To share experiences with other people
-To get feedback from others
-To make bloggy-friends
-To get my brain clutter onto paper (so to speak) and maybe clear my head a little
-Because it's fun
-Because I enjoy long term projects
-Because I really needed a personal hobby!

And (because you were so patient) Ten Things That Actually ARE About Me
-I am a Christian and a Libertarian...yes, you can be both.
-I am germaphobic about doorknobs (seriously, when's the last time you cleaned yours?) and fast food restaurant ice cubes.
-I am also afraid of birds.
-I am borderline compulsive about remembering the birthdays and anniversaries of every single person I know.
-I cannot remember what I ate for lunch today.
-I am a house wife but I hate cleaning the house.
-I have never been on vacation...unless you count crossing several states by car to go to my great great grandmother's funeral. When I was 9.
-Hubby and I met while doing karaoke.
-I have so many family members in my extended family that I don't know all of their names.
-I am 23 years old (Yep, I was 16 when Hubby and I started dating, 17 when we got pregnant with Monkey, 18 when he was born, 21 when we got married, 22 when Baby Bug was born, and I am currently 23, happily married, and expecting our third baby)

So there you have it-100 things, more or less about me, for my 100th post. After that, all there is to say is a big huge THANK YOU! to everyone who visits my blog and keeps coming back. I love our little bloggersations, sharing stories and feedback with each other, and making bloggy friends.

Here's to 100 more posts (if I haven't killed my blog by mentioning my real age...)!

A REALLY Bad Stomach Ache?

I love watching pregnancy and baby shows on TV...you know, since I don't have enough kids and pregnancy in my personal life...and by far the best place to go for your reality baby fix is TLC. Our DVR is up to about 50% capacity with recordings of A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby which I watch in marathon form after I put the kids down for the night. I really enjoy watching my programs and oohing and awing over the new babies...but little did I know what TLC was going to bring me next. Last week they had a marathon of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. Let me say that again:

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT

Wha?! Okay, I've had a couple kids now so I'm pretty sure I have a good grasp on the whole pregnancy thing...all I can think is how could you not know that there is another person living in your body? Even if you had negative pregnancy tests, you'd figure it out eventually right? What about when the baby kicks? Even if you didn't think you were pregnant the giant lurch-stab-pain from being karate chopped in the cervix would probably alert you to a potential medical issue...right? Or what about morning sickness? With Monkey my morning sickness had me laying face down in the bathtub puking into the drain for 8 months...I definitely would have consulted a physician even if I hadn't known there was a baby on the way. Maybe especially if I hadn't known.

As I sit here 36 weeks pregnant with our third 12lbs heavier, exhausted, swollen, leaking colostrum, slightly dizzy, starving, contracting 3-5 times an hour, and experiencing fiery heartburn, very discomforting back pain, and a heavy feeling in the booty area my brain just can't reach the point where I can believe a woman could sit here, pregnant just like me, and not think to herself for even a second,

"Huh. Maybe I should see a medical professional."

If I didn't know I was pregnant right now I'd be rushing myself to the ER, convinced that death (or at least serious illness) was upon me. I suppose I could just be a hypochondriac, but I really truly think that most women would do the same thing.

You would, wouldn't you?

Hubby thinks that these women have a case of severe denial...but I can't believe that strong enough denial exists which would make a woman go into labor and literally give birth on her toilet.

Seriously Geez Louise!

I love TLC...I love baby shows...but I will not be watching this show anymore, at least not until The Bean is born. I'm in no shape anymore to jump up and down on my couch and scream at the TV. I know I'm pregnant.

[PS this is my 99th post....stay tuned the next day or so for my 100th post. I'm trying to do something jazzy.]

You Can't Lose Them All

I just read an article which referenced people 27-30 as "young parents". Really?! In that same article a 28 year old woman (who is certainly far into what I would consider adulthood) said, "I still don't really feel like I am an adult. When I walk up to the day care with Emmett [her son], I always feel like they are looking at me and thinking, 'Oh, she's the babysitter dropping off the kid, or whatever.' " At 28?!

I really can't believe this. We're not talking about 15 year olds here, these people are working towards middle aged! Though the attitude reflected in that article certainly explains why some people (in real life, not you bloggy friends) are so rude to me-if they think 30 is "too young for children" then I guess I'm a baby having babies.

In defense of what is now apparently extremely young parenthood (from a social perspective at least), it actually does have some advantages. My children will be raised, have flown the coop, and will (hopefully) be giving me grandbabies before most of the "reasonable" people's kids hit puberty. That means a lot of really neat things-I'll get to be a young grandma...and not "60 is the new 40" kind of young, actually young...which means I can run around with them and really get to enjoy my time with them. It is very probable that I will live to see my great grandchildren and-if I'm blessed with a few more years than most-maybe even my great great grandchildren.

I also get the enormous benefit of being able to spend several decades of my adult life privately with Hubby. Don't get me wrong, I adore the kids, but because I won't be raising children into my 50s and 60s I'll get to spend 30-40 years with Hubby generally being housebums (our favorite past time) or going on vacation or spoiling our grandchildren or whatever we want to do. And we'll get to do it when we're older and have more money, as opposed to if we were child free right now while we're broke.

I will say that for the stereotypes-they're not all wrong. If they were categorically untrue they wouldn't have become stereotypes, right? We are definitely living on an extremely modest budget-which I have to admit is a step up for us from our earlier years when we would have had to get a raise to be "broke". While we don't have what I'd call "struggles" anymore-no one has threatened to sue us for money in several years now-we certainly have to make personal sacrifices on our part (mine and Hubby's-the kids are just on this side of spoiled rotten as they should be).

Our big sacrifice is technology. We love technology-give me a gadget and I'm a happy girl!-but the costs of all the glittering gizmos is extremely prohibitive [see:undoable on our budget]. Hubby has been saving for an XBox 360 since they came out (wasn't that more than 2 years ago?). I did get a laptop once with our tax return, but we had to sell it to pay for our big move. I now gratefully use a Frankenstein computer (a pre-2000 PC cannibalized and half rebuilt by a techie friend of ours) to blog and do other important Internet Business [Facebook]. Of course recently I've posted about my extremely-cheapo-digital-camera breaking (and causing a hormonal nervous breakdown), and about not wanting to shell all the money for a cell phone despite the fact that not having one these days is stranger than having two heads. We don't get a lot of cool parent toys around here because, true to young parent stereotype, we just can't afford it.

BUT

We can enter contests in an attempt to win technologically delicious goodies! Contests like the 5 Minutes for Mom 2009 Mother's Day Giveaway...in which they will be bestowing certain lucky winners with the prize of their choosing. Guess what my choosing(s) are? [Yes, you can have multiples chooses! (Even if you think bad grammar is funny.)]

The HP Mini 1000 PC Laptop and the Kodak digital camera of course!!!! The contest runs from April 22nd (yesterday--oops!) through May 9th, and they'll announce the winners on May 10th. I think that a new laptop and/or digital camera would be the perfect Mother's Day gift right now...that way I can take it/them to the hospital with us a week later and record every blink and moment of The Bean's birth!

Are the chances astronomical? Yep. But hey-if at first you don't succeed, try try again. I can't lose every contest!

"Retro Chic"

It has been noted [with a mix of frustration and disbelief] by several of our friends and family that Hubby and I are the last people in the country under 80 years old who do not have cell phones. Of course I've always brushed them off as being over dramatic, but lately I'm beginning to think they might be right.

Just last night I had this conversation with my sister:

Me: Hey, I know you were going to call me but I'm running a little late and won't be home for another half hour or so. I know you had some baby questions, so give me a call a little later, okay?

Sister(sounding genuinely baffled): Where are you calling me from?

Me: Um, the store?

Sister: How are you calling me?

Me: Uuummmm, with a payphone?

Sister(incredulous): They still make those?

Me: Well, technically, no. Actually most people don't even fix the broken ones anymore, and they have to charge you 75 cents every 3-5 minutes on the ones that do work just to break even since no one uses them, but there are a few in existence. I like to use them-it's retro chic.

You knew they still have payphones...didn't you?

I was also confronted by our last-cellphoneless-family-on-the-planet status when I went on our hospital tour. During the tour, while describing the amenities of each LDR [that's the Labor, Delivery, and Recovery room just in case you're a guy or haven't had kids yet] the tour master remarked,

"Well that's about it. Except for phones. Every room has one if you want it, but of course no one really uses them since we've been allowing cell phones to be used on the floor for more than 5 years now."

So I-who fully intends to be the "no one" who uses that in room phone-raise my hand and ask,

"Just in case I want to use it, do the phones have long distance or do I need to bring a long distance card?"

The tour guide was positively stumped. We had to ask the nurses on the way out! Are land line phones that archaic? Are cell phones that mandatory? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against cell phones or technology in general. I worked in cellular telecommunication for a little over 3 years and I'd love to have a cell phone (almost as much as I'd love to get a new digital camera) but it's hard for me to financially justify paying $80 per month to have a phone than can only call for 700 "shared" minutes when I can pay $19.95 a month for unlimited calls to US, Canada, Mexico, and Guam (you know, just in case anyone I knew ever moved to Guam or was thrown into Mexican prison).

Still, maybe the time has come to bite the bullet and get one of those cellular contraptions-they're awful convenient, especially when you're pregnant...I guess I'll have to find another way to be a retro hipster.

How To Find Yourself Without A Number 2 Pencil

After reading Kirsty's post about being 'left brained' or 'right brained' I may or may not have gone a little nutso on the online personality tests.

Okay, I totally did...but it's okay-apparently, the compulsion to complete these tests is just another part of my personality. According to Myers-Briggs I am an INFJ-which seems to mean that I will seek out a deeper understanding of myself and others (through online Myers-Briggs tests?).

It was in the spirit of further understanding myself (and boredom) that I went ahead and did Kirsty's are you left or right brained quiz which revealed that I am nearly 50/50 with a slight emphasis on being right brained---though I must admit I've taken right/left brained tests before and ended up with a slight emphasis on being left brained. Pondering if this makes me no brained (or at the very least indecisively brained) I read a very simple table about right/left brain dominance characteristics, and have decided that I self-identify as a whole-brainer...meaning I have no idea, because I do things from both sides of the chart!

If you want to take a super long, detail oriented test that will suck half your afternoon away but give you some interesting feedback (as well as compare you with the population who has taken the test previously) you can go here to take the IPIP-NEO.

The Big Five test is a fun, quick sliding scale personality test which-as an extra super bonus-allows you to judge analyze a friend or family member at the same time so that you can compare! Ooooh. Aaaaaaah.

I'll admit some tests I took just for funsies. For instance, I didn't need this test or this test to tell me that I'm an "extreme libertarian"-but since I love politics and personality tests, I went ahead and took it anyway. [Didn't know I am libertarian? Hope I didn't scare anyone away.] I had a great time doing personality tests under the guise of 'understanding myself', and it was a fun way to pass the time while I was up at night being a pregnant insomniac. After all of that ultra informative testing there remains only one question left unanswered...

What part of my brain or aspect of my personality is responsible for my uncontrollable compulsion to change blog designs more often than some people change bedsheets?

The world may never know.

Let The Freak Out Commence

It happens no matter what you do-even if you taped your eyes open, never ate, wore adult diapers, and did nothing but stare at your child all day every day eventually something not so great would happen to them. Sadly there is no Mommy secret to stop life from happening to our precious babies, we just have to learn how to cope with the idea that things happen. This is not an easy task. When some kind of emergency situation comes up with my kids I go into what I like to call "The Mommy Zone".

You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of troubled mind; a journey into an eerily calm land which appears with the arrival of emergencies and disappears just as quickly. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, The Mommy Zone.

For reasons totally biological and having nothing to do with me, the minute something goes wrong I become hyper-rational, intensely focused, deliberate, and methodical. I develop the ability to project serenity and comfort to my loved one in need (I also happen to behave like this when something happens to Hubby), and minister calmly to their immediate needs and emotional stability. Like I said, this is totally not about my character but instead 100% about chemicals or hormones or some other such uncontrollable body function-still it does come in handy. I really am an ideal person to have around in a bad situation.....just make sure to give me space once things get back to 'situation normal' because I'm cracking apart on you like Humpty Dumpty.

Tonight was a perfect example of "The Mommy Zone". Baby Bug has in the past few days developed a rash, with no other symptoms. No big deal-this isn't my first kid. I ask around and other people confirm my conclusion that it's probably viral-which means there is nothing the doc can do-so I'm okay with that. Then today Baby Bug's rash is 99% gone, and all of a sudden she starts running a fever. It feels like a pretty high fever (which of course I can't take because I can't find our thermometer) but she's acting normally so I don't panic. Then I lay her down for bed and she starts shaking uncontrollably.

I will totally admit that I have no idea how long this lasted. [Time does not exist in "The Mommy Zone".] I call her name, then roll her onto her side facing me and note her behavior in exhaustive detail. Immediately following I check for signs of injury (bitten tongue, petechiae (pinpoint bruising), etc). Then I cuddle with Baby Bug for a moment-who by the way not only doesn't show any sign of illness but seems darn right happy clapping her hands, talking baby talk, and snuggling-after which I dress her for outdoors, load her into the car, and drive her completely calm to the emergency room.

Once in the ER I am discussing in precise, unemotional detail what happened while playing with a very happy Miss Bug. Baby Bug makes fast friends with every nurse and doctor who walks by the room, waving and batting her eyelashes and talking merrily to them while I pet her head and discuss the doctor's opinion that she had a febrile seizure (a generally harmless type of seizure associated with sudden temperature spikes in infants and toddlers). They give her a blood draw, and take a urine sample by catheter (during which I help to hold her down and console her) to figure out what kind of infection could have caused the seizure, and then patiently read to her until they come in and tell me she has a viral infection, but based on her blood draw/antibody dealie she should be getting over it soon.

Thanksforcominginitsnobigdealgoodbye.

So I get back into the car with Baby Bug, drive all the way home and then put her to bed, then pack Hubby's lunch, and send him off to work. I talk to my sister and tell her what happened-calmly, because she's still a brand new first time mom and scares easily.

Then I can feel the panic raising in my stomach, so I nudge my sister off the phone and I do what I always do after any coolly handled emergency-I vomit like a sorority girl on MTV Spring Break. Then I cry uncontrollably, obsess about every single possible thing that could have happened in the situation I just dealt with, and then research every single preventative measure I can take in the future (which isn't fun when, as with febrile seizures, there are no preventative measures). Then, of course, there is a lot more crying and a little more vomiting.

And, this time, some blogging. So in conclusion, sorry if this post is a scrambled mess...the good news is everything is back to normal-the bad news is that means this post is coming from the other (more panicky) side of "The Mommy Zone".

Irony is Delicious

What is it about watching people struggling desperately to lose weight that makes me want to run to the kitchen and grab some snacks?

Generally we eat healthy as a family-our kids aren't allowed any junk food (except their 1st birthday cake and a candy cane at their 2nd Christmas) until they are two years old! We even wait until the kids are asleep to eat junk food ourselves in order to make sure we're setting a good example. We eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, we are active, our fast food intake is practically none (for budgetary as much as health reasons), and we only have dessert once or twice a week. That is of course not including when Mommy dives into the peanut butter cups on Tuesday night and devours a truly awesome amount of peanut-chocolaty goodness. Then I feel horribly guilty and silently thank God my children don't witness my complete loss of self control.

So why, why do I do it? I suspect the truth is that even the thought of eating kale and doing a sit up makes me clutch my usually-neglected Oreos in over dramatic anxiety. (Never depart from me, oh delightful chocolate cookie!) Or perhaps, as I like to think, it could be my highly developed sense of irony.

Yep, that's it.

And it feels so good to know that I am not the only one who loves to nibble on some ironic snackage. When I mentioned my Biggest Loser Eating Habits during the Ultimate Blog Party 2009, I was amazed by how many people commented and said they do the exact same thing! Then I put up a poll....

What Do YOU Eat While Watching the Biggest Loser?
Anything sweet................................................................... (1)
Anything salty.................................................................... (0)
Carrots (or similar healthy fare)...................................... (0)
Whatever I can get my hands on..................................... (7)
I don't eat, I do jumping jacks........................................... (2)
[View all poll results in the poll results archive]

Amazing! People really are like me-or I'm like them...well, most of them. [Not you jumping jackers-I don't think I've done a jumping jack since I was in 4th grade!] Still, I wanted more proof so I searched on Twitter for "eating watching biggest loser". [Oh yes, bloggy friends, I have joined the Twitterers (look for _MrsM_) though to what end I can't say.]

Apparently there is a smorgasbord of people who get their chip on every Tuesday night. Cookies, chocolate cake, Doritos, chipotle, donuts, pizza...you name it, people are eating it while watching this show. Some mention the irony, a lot of people mention guilt or imminent trips to the gym, but it seems that the popularity of the junk food/Biggest Loser combo cannot be denied.

I guess it just comes down to math.

junk food+TBL=delicious delicious irony.

The Good Old Days

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders....They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."--Socretes (469 BC - 399 BC)

Some things never change-the Earth revolves around the Sun, brownies are delicious and fattening, and the elders of the community will shake their heads and lament "kids these days". Even I-who some people consider still "kid aged"-have balked at what appears to be a 5 year old behind the wheel of a car and started a sentence with "when I was your age...." Perhaps it has something to do with brain chemistry and aging. And yet, every once in a while, a generation comes along that feels a particular kinship to an older generation--I think that time has come around again.

I suppose it shouldn't be surprising that I feel a very special bond with my Depression-era grandparents (though they are long passed away). With the economy being what it is, and Hubby and I being pretty much on the bottom of the economic pyramid, I have pulled a lot of 'tricks of the trade' from their generation to help us get by. I find myself keeping coin jars (something my Baby Boomer parents never did), making "remade" dinners (meals that use portions/ingredients/leftovers of other meals), and growing/making whatever I can with my own two hands. I can recognize the wisdom, love, and fear in my Nana's cavernous basement of canned fruits and vegetables and my grandpa's 40 year old (non-running) lawnmower that he never did part with...because Hubby and I feel that same apprehension about the future, and the same need to protect our children from true poverty.

Apparently it's not just me-many people in my generation seem to be reaching back into the past for help and guidance during hard times. We have decided-according to our increased participation-that sewing and canning are ever-more desirable skills. Saving is also becoming more and more important to us-according to Google there was a 150% rise in searches for home safes, and NPR reports that home safe sales rose up to 70% in 2008, reflecting a (warranted) lack of trust for banks in general. Generationally speaking, we're even giving our babies more traditional names (I know that's certainly true with Hubby and I!) naming them after and in honor of our grandparents (or great grandparents for some) who survived similar economic times.

The struggle for young parents to raise happy and healthy children in times of uncertainty and economic failure is bridging the generation gap between us-and while it is certainly a struggle that no one can really "enjoy" I hope that my generation will benefit from the values of our grandparents and great grandparents; that we are able to learn needed skills and enjoy those things that are more valuable than money...because, perhaps, if we build those skills and learn the meaning of true value someday, despite the hardships, we will be able to look back on these times as "the good old days".

In His Footsteps

What does it mean to be a Christian? There are many popular definitions, varying from the abstract "someone who believes Jesus is the Messiah is a Christian" to the very specific "being a Christian means that you do X, Y, Z (go to church, spread the Word, etc)", and none of them are exactly the same or inclusive of all people who call themselves Christians...so obviously the meaning of Christianity is very personal-but also very important.

To me, being a Christian means being Christ-like; that is, manifesting the spirit and qualities of Christ and following in Him.

Matthew 16:24 “²⁴Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me."

On Easter every year I am reminded of how awesome a commission that truly is. When I read the Old Testament, about before Christ came, I reflect on what it meant to have to save ourselves through holy action and thought. There are only 10 Commandments, and even that is far too many for one spiritually puny human being to uphold. The people of the earth suffered the physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences of their sins-and it was grisly. God saw the suffering of His children and came up with the perfect plan-Jesus. He could have forced everyone to bow to His will. He could have sent a disciplinary warrior-king to carve humanity into submission.

Instead he sent Jesus. Teacher. Healer. Peacemaker. Humility and servitude incarnate. He selflessly and quietly served humanity on earth and our Father in heaven with love, patience, and kindness, and without prejudice. He loved the unlovable prostitute, He served the unservable (His enemies), and in the end He walked to His death to redeem the irredeemable (that's me).

As a Christian by my own definition I must wonder-how can I follow in my Master's gentle, self sacrificing footsteps? How can I love others unconditionally, with perfect forgiveness for their flaws? How can I serve others, both friend and foe, as Christ did?

I can't.

That is the miracle of Easter-my loving Messiah gave Himself to cover my imperfections. He redeemed every irredeemable quality I have. Every action I have taken-and in my human nature will continue to take-that is not in His way is already forgiven. My sins are not my own to bear, and I do not suffer the consequences of my shortcomings. The loving, gentle servant has taken my place, overcome my death, and allows me to follow in His ways so that one day I can see Him.

So this Easter as I thankfully praise Him, I know the best way I can worship Him is to follow in His footsteps. May you be blessed by Him this season and always, and attended by His followers.

From the Last Supper [excerpts from John 13]

12-17
¹²When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. ¹³"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. ¹⁵I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

33-36
³³"My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come. ³⁴"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." ³⁶Simon Peter asked him, "Lord, where are you going?" Jesus replied, "Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later."

[For more bloggings on the true meaning of Easter, visit the Because of the Cross Carnival at Becoming Me.]

I Have Mental Problems

It's been a couple of days since I've posted. The good news is that I don't have writer's block. The bad news is I have the opposite problem....there is so much going on in my brain that my thoughts are running around crashing into each other like bumper cars....but there is only so much room, so then my thoughts battle like Gladiators (yes, bumper car Gladiators) over which gets to actually become something and which gets eaten by tigers.

A thought that made it through the jumble-redesigning my friend Angela's blog, Becoming Me. She's stuck with me the whole time I've been blog designing, has stayed loyal despite my larger than average learning curve, and has been so sweet about promoting my little business that I am always happy to give her a blog lift!

And of course redoing Angela's blog made me want to give my own a massive overhauling little touch up. I know I know I know I just redid it. I know that I should be in a 12 step program. But...but....but........

Okay there's no good excuse. I just want to! I'm going to try a new approach to redesigning (though I suppose it's the same cookie different frosting when it comes to feeding my addition to blog re-designs). I made several different headers that I could use to jump start my new look, and I was going to pick just one but now I have a problem......I love three of them! And blog designs are like husbands-you can only have one. Well, at a time. (I promise I'm more loyal to Hubby than I am to my HTML code.) Of course I am the poster child for indecision at the moment, so let me get your opinions....which one do you like best?

I like this one because it's cartoon, but it looks neat. It reminds me of the intro to "Bewitched", which I think is cute and retro-y. On the down side, because it's cartoon I don't know if it fits the feel of my blog.

I really like this one because it is so neat. I can see this becoming a more professional looking layout...an idea which I like. On the down side, I don't know if it's fun or catchy enough.

This one I think is super cool-it's cartoon, but more serious. Funky, but still nice looking. The downside to this one is that I'm going to have to redesign it when The Bean is born (to add her and make myself not pregnant anymore)...and that might lead me into the temptation of another redesign. Which I don't need any help getting into.

Oi vey. What do you think blog friends?

Also bumping around my brain (related to bloggy land) are post ideas. I have a bout a bajillion of them, which actually makes it difficult for me to write. I keep meaning to write one thing....and then the post starts weaving through traffic....then it swerves sharply to the left and drives off a cliff.

So yeah, they need work. Here are some posts that are upcoming (as soon as I can tow them out of the brain revine):

--Eating and the biggest loser. Why watching other people lose weight makes us hungry. [Update: It's been posted here!]
--A day in the life of an unschooling family.
--A post for Becoming Me's Because of the Cross carnival. This one is on an April 13th deadline, but is being very difficult about getting onto paper (so to speak) so I don't know what will happen to it. [Update: It's been posted here!]
--Baby Showers and other etiquette situations.
--"I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", the craziest show (and thought) ever. [Update:It's been posted here.]

-My hipster friend.

See? The bumper cars are gridlocked...and this doesn't even begin to address baby thoughts! This is a massive, massive case of baby brain. At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky if I survive this pregnancy with enough brain cells left to form a coherent sentence.

One Cool Bean

I am probably the whiniest person on the planet at the moment. The thing is I can't really bring myself to feel appropriately contrite about my behavior. I am 33 weeks pregnant with our second child in less than two years, and my inner monologue has slowly digressed to a long, unintelligible stream of groaning, curse words, and self-pity. I have even started thinking uncharitable thoughts about my husband who, under normal circumstances, I actually adore.

To be fair that's kind of his fault. I have spent most of my time the last couple of days hobbling around in my tshirt and yoga pants having irregular contractions. While I am not in "active labor" (thank God) it is certainly active enough to hurt-and dilate and efface me veeeery slowly-so you know, I'm generally miserable.

Which may have been the reason my head nearly popped off yesterday when Hubby dared to complain about my recent "lack of energy"....and the toll it has taken on his sleep. That certainly takes a pair, doesn't it? Little did he know that I spent the two hours following that comment thinking about sneaking up on him while he was sleeping and punching him in the kidneys. Just once an hour or something-nothing really compared to the constant rock n' rolling of our little ninja-baby and the pain of contractions. I wondered what effect that would have on his sleep. I was willing to bet that he'd think twice about complaining the next time I decide to take an hour nap.

What? I didn't do it, of course.

I have also been reduced to hormonally charged dramatics of Scarlett O'Hara proportions over the demise of our cheapo digital camera. It was seriously the cheapest thing you could get that could still take a barely discernible picture, so there is no reason it's unsurprising end should have plummeted me into the "depths of dis-pay-ah".....but of course it did. Especially when I looked at our budget and realized that with all the stuff we have to buy before The Bean is born there is no way we can get a digital replacement-not even the cheapo kind.

So then I start to think......If I don't have a camera I can't take a belly picture.

If I can't take a belly picture, then there is no way that I can catch up and get an equal amount of belly pictures for The Bean as I did for Baby Bug....I AM SLIGHTING MY YOUNGEST CHILD before she is even born! What kind of a mother am I?!

This ALSO means we will not have a digital camera when we deliver! We will have to rely on disposable cameras-with no previewing options! I'm going to be shooting pictures of our newborn daughter blindly! What if they all come out black? What if her face is out of frame? What if we all have red-eye? How will I edit our photos into beautiful family memories to put in her baby book (which I will probably never complete)!? What if I get no salvageable pictures at all!?

You should have seen the hysterics. I should have sold tickets-I would have gotten an Academy Award. I'm even getting a little misty just typing this right now. I told you my hormones are not in a good place.

Despite the fact that I am generally wallowing in my own hormone flood, I have been feeling a little guilty about being so surly lately. I needed something to help me get out of my funk and start acting like a decent relatively sane person again. So I decided to browse through my pregnancy books/internet bookmarks to find funny pictures and read about the 33rd week of pregnancy...you know, find out what my body is doing in there and see what The Bean is up to.

Me at 33 Weeks

Thanks to a uterus that has now grown to over 500 times it's original size, I have developed a bat-like sonar system that enables me to get to the bathroom 6 times a night in the dark.

Unfortunately, this only works at night in the dark. During the day I can be found stumbling/hobbling/waddling around-I blame my lack of grace on the relaxin which widens the pelvic bones in anticipation of labor. It makes it easy for the baby to come out, but the new hip positions make me wobble!

Will the "fun" never cease?

There is some good news though-I am doing astoundingly well on my weight gain (go me!). I was about 15lbs overweight when I got pregnant (...please remember that I was also only 5 1/2 months post partum before you judge!) so the doctor told me that I should only gain 15-20lbs during pregnancy~and I'm right on track. I have gained 12lbs so far-if I gain a pound a week (YIKES!) from now until my due date I'll still have only gained 19lbs. Perfect! This is my shiny point of happiness at the moment. Yes, I think I shall focus on this for a minute.......aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay, baby's turn!

The Bean at 33 Weeks

The Bean is now about 12 inches-ish from crown-to-rump (about 17.5 inches head to toe) and roughly 4-41/2lbs. That's about the size of a pineapple(ouch)!

She can now tell the difference between dark and light, listen and react to music and familiar voices (like the sound of Monkey trying to talk to her through my belly button), and moves her eyes in a REM like pattern.....I wonder what she's dreaming about?

By now the bean will have some hair. If she's anything like the rest of the kids, that's almost all she's going to get until she's 2.

Her hobbies this week include practicing breathing by inhaling amniotic fluid, getting in position (head down booty up), and slowing her movements down (in theory)-can't be too active if she's going to gain 1/2lb per week from here on out!

You know, it's pretty cool to think about how she's growing and changing in there....even if her growing and changing means that I'm feeling a little snippy and hormonal. And huge. And hurty. And...well, it's all worth it right? Because in the end I get a brand new baby girl!

Cool beans.

It's Natural

People have a lot of questions about unschooling but the one I hear most often is, "If you never do worksheets, and you never give tests, and you never have any official measurement of their progress, how do you know your kids are learning?"

The answer is actually surprisingly simple. The process of unschooling is really just the practice of exposing your children to as many educational opportunities and as much information as possible...then watching them and helping them as they absorb it, mimic it, learn it, practice it, and eventually master it...at their own pace, on their own time table, and according to their own interests.

So how do you measure their progress? How do you know when your new baby is learning how to lift their head, or roll over, or walk, or talk? You don't set up structured learning around these things. I don't know anyone who gives their infant a pop quiz on cruising....but you know they are learning because you're watching them do it. One step at a time, one syllable at a time, your child grows up-on their own, with no tests or official training-and teaches themselves extremely complicated things (the English language for instance) by watching those around them and practicing on their own time and at their own pace.

That's pretty much it. Kind of sounds to easy to be realistic right? That's what I thought too-but the idea of free, interest lead learning really appealed to us so we decided to try it...and every day I am happier and happier with Monkey's progress. I can see him learning and growing right before my eyes, developing passions and interests, exploring and teaching himself.

I have known for the last 4 months or so that Monkey has been teaching himself to read and write (How did I know? I watched! And as always I've been answering his questions.) and that he has been progressing very well. His grasp on phonics is excellent, his reading comprehension is great, and his sight words improve with every day. Today was just amazing though.

Hubby and I were sitting on the sofa after lunch talking when Monkey came up to us and handed us each a folded piece of paper with a heart on the front and started dancing around.

"It's mail for you! Open it open it!"

This is what Hubby got:
Der Dadde, Hapee birhda! I (heart) you and I mayd you a preznt. (picture of a present with a bow on top and a car inside) (heart) Monkey (well, actually his real name, spelled correctly)

And this one was for me:
Der Momee, Did uno that (Baby Bug's real name, spelled correctly) spillld milk? I saw him and ther was a LOT. I (heart) you. Can you and my red books now?
(squiggle squiggle squiggle...which he later explained was "mommy writing" (cursive) but he couldn't read it anymore because he forgot what he wrote) (heart) (his real name spelled correctly)

Okay, so his spelling is atrocious and his grammar leaves things to be desired (he did refer to his sister as "him"), but he definitely has the structure of letter writing down, his grip on phonics is very strong, if inaccurate, and his handwriting was very neat. I was beaming with pride (I still am!) when he looked up at me and said, "So?"

"So what, Monkey?"

"So can you and me read books now?"

"Oh, sure." I had completely forgotten the notes content!

"Good," said Monkey, "I want to read to you this time. Kay?"

"That sounds great!" I said. Then he ran upstairs and brought down his books. My five year old then sat me down and read me The Cat in the Hat, Finding Nemo, I Love To Cuddle, and last October's Car and Driver. Was a lot of it memorized? Probably. Did he get stuck on words? Of course. Still, sitting there listening to my son who taught himself to read was probably one of the most priceless and amazing mommy moments I've ever had. I am still in awe at how brilliant his mind is.

He is brilliant, and I don't have to test him to figure that out; I just inspire him, encourage him, and support him. He's like a tiny seed that I plant in the ground and carefully water...he does the growing-the most magical part-all on his own, and I get to watch in wonder at the miracle of nature at work in my child.

Meet The Breeders

I haven't had any moments of hormone induced psychosis. I don't have anything in my teeth (I checked). *Sniff* *Sniff* Nope, I'm not especially smelly today....and yet somehow I have already managed to lose a follower.

I can only assume that I have offended someone with my post about marriage. I didn't think it was particularly offensive, but it was cavalier I guess. Maybe it was misleading-I actually take marriage very seriously, and work really hard at having a happy and healthy one...but I am "unconventional" in that I don't think a marriage is made by the ceremony or the piece of paper (which I find to be irrelevant paperwork), but rather is created by a commitment between the people involved and God. To me marriage is more of a verb-an action based on a mutual promise-than a legal state or a church-sanctioned ceremony.

Then again, I'm always bucking the system. Even within my larger family (parents, siblings)-who our extended family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) consider to be "odd ducks" at best and "black sheep" at worst-I am definitely stand out when it comes to doing things my own way.

In a family full of people who dream about sports cars and motorcycles, I salivate over the minivan with Stow N Go Swivel-seats. In a family full of public school teachers, I am an unschooler. In a family that eats like southern farmhands (bacon with a side of sausage), I went vegetarian-and though I'm not anymore, I still eat "leafy" according to my family.

And, most notably now days, in a family where two children is considered "more than enough" (my parents are my dad and step mom, who had two children a piece and then got surgically sterilized) I'm working on my third. My childbearing abilities have given rise over the years to a delightful new collective nickname for my husband and I.

We're "The Breeders". To be fair each kid/couple in our family has their own unofficial title or nickname, none of them are very flattering, and all of us get teased equally unmercifully. For me and Hubby it is our proclivity for popping out babies is something they have all enjoyed poking fun at over the years. When Monkey was born it was our "Head Start Program" of parenting (get it, because we're so young but I was the first one in my family to have kids?). When Baby Bug was born it was "Good. You guys know how to stop having kids right?" When we announced that we were pregnant with The Bean (right around the time Baby Bug turned 6 months old) they went full tilt.

I think the best was my step sister's reaction: "Geez guys, let the oven cool down before you put another bun in." Oh yes, it was laugh and point time.

Until THEIR babies were born. My step brother had his first in February, and my sister had her first less than two weeks ago. Guess who gets the 3am phone call asking whether or not to wake the baby up to eat?

At our last family gathering (which we try to do about once a month) they flocked around me and watched me with the kids, oohing and aaahing over the littlest parenting tricks and asking me for advice. Suddenly we're no longer "The Breeders" **chuckle**chuckle**, we're THE BREEDERS, SENSAI CHILD BEARERS, MASTER PARENTS teaching at the dojo of parenthood. My brother in law has even given me a new nickname.

The Pediatrician.

Yes, sometimes it pays to keep an odd-duck around.