Mondays Our Way:Cookin' Up Some Education

I am so excited to finally be posting the first of my Mondays Our Way posts! I have wanted a way to communicate (and keep track of!) our homeschooling experience and I think that blogging it is a fantastic idea. [Of course, I think blogging everything is a fantastic idea.]

The first thing I should tell you is that we are unschoolers. In some ways it's basically the same as homeschooling-it does take place at home (mostly) and we (the parents) are the primary "teachers"-but in other ways it's entirely NOT the same. There are several key differences between unschooling and traditional homeschooling-for instance:

• We don't have curriculum.
• We don't have text books.
• We don't have worksheets.
• We don't have tests.
• We don't have a schedule.
• We don't have a desk or other classroom type setting in our home.

The more detailed you get about the process of unschooling the less it resembles anything like school at all actually. So, you may ask, how do our kids learn? It's a valid question, and many people ask it.

Our kids learn academics the same way they learned/are learning to walk. I didn't hand the kids a text book about the mechanics of walking, I let them experiment for themselves and I encourage(d) them and guide(d) them in the discovery of their skills. I never set a 'schedule' for their toddling-I allow(ed) them the space and time to do it when they are motivated to do so. In the end Monkey learned (and Baby Bug is learning, and The Bean will learn) how to walk almost entirely because of their own enthusiasm for learning and their own commitment to practice-all we have had to do is provide the opportunity to learn and then encourage and supervise their efforts. We don't have to test them to know that they are learning-how do you know your child has learned to walk? How do you know your child has learned to talk? Growth and learning is observable, without having to mark it down on paper.

Hubby and I (and most unschoolers) hold this to be true with all learning. All we feel we need to do is provide the opportunity and we believe our children will naturally be motivated to learn all they can, apply that knowledge practically, and perfect their skills.

I know this seems improbable-many people feel, as the public school system does, that if you do not regulate and monitor a child's education that they will not get one-but if you think about it without that preconceived notion for a moment, it will might make sense to you. You know that your children are curious-all children are. You know that your children learn all kinds of things just by watching and doing and experiencing life with your encouragement and under your guidance-you can see them using every skill and knowledge tidbit they acquire. Now think-why wouldn't a curious child want to learn how to read? [How many times does a toddler/preschooler ask "what does this say?" If Monkey is any indication, .a LOT.] Why wouldn't a curious child want to understand numbers, or know how electricity works, or learn about how America became a country? Every single question a child asks is an opportunity to learn and grow....and by that measure most small children have several hundred opportunities a day!

Mommy, why is the sky blue? Why are we going to the store? What's that flag mean? What happened to my juice? Why do I have to eat broccoli? How far away does grandma live? Every one of those questions is a perfect learning opportunity!

I guess now is a good time to warn you that if you don't like responding-in depth-to 10,000 questions per day unschooling might not be for you. Actually, there are a lot of reasons that unschooling might not suit people. Even in the homeschooling community there aren't a lot of us. Many people prefer to track their child's progress with tests because they feel that will help them better assess their children's learning needs-and that is completely valid. Also there is a lot of concern that unschooling doesn't teach your children the "right" things at the "right" time, and to a point that concern is valid too. There have been children who were unschooled who didn't learn to read until they were 13 because they weren't interested in it until then. Of course the only child I knew who did that was enrolled at Harvard by 14, so he was obviously busy learning other things, but not all children who wait that long end up that way-most just learned later and go about a normal life. There can be learning gaps, or gaps between peers, while unschooling and that's why a lot of people don't do it.

In the end, every parent must do what they believe is best for their children-whether that is unschooling, traditional homeschooling, or public/private school. Every kid, and every family, is different and I have nothing but respect for everyone who does what they believe is in their family's best interest-whether or not that is the same as what I am doing in my family's best interest.

We just happen to LOVE unschooling~enough to post about it on a weekly basis!

This week we made Quiche Florentine-Cooking is always a great experience with ample opportunities for learning in many different subjects!


Getting out ingredients and supplies [Opportunity to learn about organization (how do we keep the kitchen clean), mechanics (why is the fridge cold?), science (why do we wash our hands), and helping others]

Combining the ingredients [Opportunity to learn about science (how and why things mix together (or don't)), spacial skills (stir BIG, stir little, stir clockwise/counterclockwise), reading (the recipe), math (measuring things out), and waiting/taking turns (your turn to stir, now my turn to stir).]

Cooking/Baking [Opportunity to learn about science (temperature and it's effects), also-especially for young ones who are not yet allowed to operate near a stove-this is an ideal time to talk about the history of this recipe (both cultural/historical and within your family).]

Another great thing about cooking with your kids is that it usually provides something hands on for kids to do at many different levels of development. Older kids can focus on technique (sauteing vs frying) and memorizing recipes to use when they leave home. Younger kids, like Monkey, can get their hands in there-stirring, spreading, rolling...in this recipe he got to pat out the dough (and learn about shapes, texture, and size). He also got to draw a smiley face on the crust!

Another reason we love to cook with the kids is that it has practical application (everyone has to eat!) and it has a very tangible reward for everyone. Monkey got a rewarding sense of both accomplishment and capability looking at his creation....


The Bean got to practice focusing her eyes and recognizing voices..............


Even Baby Bug (who was napping during the actual cooking process) got to enjoy some delicious, nutritious food...[Please pay no attention to the mass of toys on the table-Monkey is going through a collecting/hoarding/organizing phase.]

And-oh joy!-there was even enough left over for Mommy and Daddy. YUM! Also worth noting, this recipe got the kids to HAPPILY-dare I even say greedily-ingest spinach. Educational, nutritional, and kid friendly?! It's a miracle meal, I tell you.

Please steal the miracle meal-I hope you enjoy the process AND it's delicious results with your kids!

Easy Quiche Florentine
[Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees]
Crust:
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 + 1 tbsp butter
2-3 tbsp cold water

Mix flour and salt, cut in butter, add water one tbsp at a time until dough is cohesive but not sticky. Bake in a 9 inch pie plate for 8-10 minutes.

Filling:
2 tbsp minced onion
1/4 cup butter
3 tbsp flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 cup milk
4-5 beaten eggs
10 oz spinach, steamed and chopped
1/2 cup cooked bacon crumbles
1 cup swiss cheese

Beat eggs in a medium bowl, and set aside. Saute onion in butter. Blend in flour, salt, pepper. Add milk and cook stirring constantly until smooth and thick. Gradually add mix to eggs, then return entire mixture to pan and cook for 1 minute. Remove from heat and stir in all ingredients except cheese. Pour into crust, top with cheese, and bake for 25-30 minutes.
.....

My Personality Disorder Wins Awards

I've always thought that you can learn a lot about a person by looking at their record/eight track/tape/CD/MP3 collection. Obviously if somebody collects eight tracks they are definitely going to be interesting-but it's the specific music people listen to that can lead to real insight about who they are. That's why I love looking at people's music collections-well, that and to get good ideas for my own.

Inevitably though, when I look at someone's collection they want to see mine. That's an awful lot of insight to give a person...and I'm not sure I know exactly what I'm conveying either. I listen to everything. Literally-in my musical life "random" is not just a setting it's a style. You could put my MP3 player on alphabetical order and not notice any discernible pattern, but when it's on shuffle it sounds like several people's collections got accidentally mixed up. Here's a sampling.

The first 20 songs to pop up on my MP3 player (while on shuffle) were:
Funnily enough, those actually make a more cohesive pattern than they normally do. None of my rap music is "representin'" on this list (wherefore art thou Jay-Z?), none of my instrumental music (I love Vivaldi and Bach) or Christian music (DC Talk/Newsboys/Rebecca St. James make multiple appearances on my player) made the cut...and now that I look it over it's pretty shy in the rock category too (even though my player has plenty of Soundgarden, Audioslave, Tool, etc.) Still, while this random list might not be the pennicle of randomness that it could have been I think the point is clear.

My MP3 player is telling people that I have multiple personality disorder...and my alter egos are indecisive. I just thought you should know, since I try to be very honest on my blog.

The up side is that, apparently, the "crazy charm" is working! Due a recent boom, I now have 26 fabulous wonderful beautiful generous brilliant charming fascinating intelligent...did I say fabulous already?...sweet and thoughtful followers. I'm very touched that you are all interested enough to stick around!

And do you know what some of the new wonderful bloggy friends have bestowed upon me? New awards! That's right-I have award winning insanity.

In all seriousness though, I am very touched that Dawn from Two Pretty Little Skirts and Kris from Hands House and Heart Full thought highly enough of me to recognize me. I'm so glad that they've decided to stop by and become bloggy friends...and not just because they came bearing gifts!



Rules of the Award:Remind yourself you are a good mom, list seven things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you Rock!

• I love how Monkey's mind works. I may be biased, but I can't help it-the kid is a creative genius.
• I cannot get over how good natured Baby Bug is. She is a giant ball of sunshine...just looking at her lights up my day!
• The Bean is such a good baby-she sleeps well (except last night) and in her moments of consciousness has nary a cry for anyone or anything.
• Monkey and I have a very affectionate bond. He loves snuggling with Mommy-and I adore snuggling with him!
  
• Baby Bug has so much energy, she is a blast to play with. And her laugh? It's like tiny little bells and it echos in my heart.
• Our little Bean still has newborn smell. I love newborn smell.
• I am touched by how much our kids genuinely love each other. Sure, they don't always share like they should but they hug and kiss and show concern for each other every day. When I see Baby Bug clapping for Monkey while he practices juggling, or Monkey sitting with Baby Bug and teaching her how to read, or Baby Bug rolling a ball to The Bean (in an attempt to share), or Monkey singing to The Bean trying to make her smile it just fills my heart up with unexplainable joy.
• I love spending time with each child individually. I try to devote an hour a day to each one of them to spend special time together. It is such a great opportunity to get to know them as people, to share thoughts and snuggles and make new memories...sometimes it's hard to carve out the time, but once I do I am reminded of how precious those times together are.
  

Send this to five other Mom's Of The Year that deserve credit for being great moms and remind them that they are the best moms they can be!! Remember to send them a note to let them know you've selected them, and add a link to the person who nominated you.

Thank you so much Dawn! I am going to nominate:
Now I get to find out what seven things seven of YOU love! I'd love to see lists from these Kreativ bloggers...[no pressure/obligation!]


To Dawn and Kris, I am very honored that you ladies thought of me when passing out your awards! To everyone I passed an award to-feel free to love and cherish it, put it off if you're busy, or ignore it if you've already gotten the same award from someone else.

And, lastly, to all of my bloggy friends...thank you for appreciating my own special (award winning) kind of craziness.

Now~dare to share your crazy...what's on your player/deck/vinyl?
.....

Mommy's Job Is Never Done

Last night was insane. The Bean woke up pretty much every hour on the hour. Which would be fine, except that it takes about a half hour to put her back to sleep nurse for 15 minutes, burp for 10 minutes, and then invariably she needs a diaper change. On top of that, Baby Bug woke up twice. Even Monkey had his annual 'wake up screaming because of a particularly vivid nightmare and refuse to go back to sleep' experience. For mommy's convenience, they made especially sure not to all wake up at the same time, but instead space it out juuuuust far enough that I could lay my head on the pillow for 10 minutes and just start dreaming before getting up again.

Of course this nocturnal restlessness deterred no one from waking up at 0 dark 30.

Thanks kids.

Today's a good day to be running on absolutely zero sleep too-my fabulous Mother in Law and Step-Father In Law (you know, the ones who hate me...oh wait all my in laws hate me) are coming over to inspect judge see us. Does anyone know how to get rid of (or cover up) hickeys in 2 hours without using a turtleneck since it's already 1,000 degrees here? What about how to get marker off of a painted metal door?

Better yet, does anyone know how to get obnoxious over-the-top-ear-splittingly-loud children to sit still and BE QUIET? Unfortunately, these are not my children...I know how to deal with them...I'm talking about my husband's sisters. They're 6 and 7 (I actually have 5 sisters in law ranging in age from 6 to 19, but my MIL and SFIL only own two of them) and they are the LOUDEST, RUDEST little germ carriers on this half of the country. They come over scream at the top of their lungs, stomp up and down my stairs, scream and cry if they don't get their way, and generally attempt to push my kids around. Of course, MIL and SFIL never step in and lay down the law-"that's just the way the girls are".

How do I momentarily fix that? Not their parenting-there is nothing I can do about that...I'm just trying to make sure my head doesn't explode.

*sigh*

I guess it's time for me to stop whining, pop two extra strength Tylenols, and hop in the shower. Here's hoping I survive the afternoon.
.....

I'm About To Gain Some Weight (Hopefully)

Do you know what I really need? Brownies. A Father's Day gift for Hubby. I He really deserve deserves something delicious for working so hard with our little crew these days. [We're outnumbered now, you know.]

And what better way to show appreciation than in the deliciously edible fashion? With The Bean being so new, all I'm baking in the kitchen these days are Jello No Bake Cheesecakes-which, while delicious, lack that "certain something" which would turn them from quick dessert to gift. Luckily, Rachelle from Mommy? I'm Hungry! could be coming to my aid!



She has a way with food...and with pictures. Not only are her recipes amazing [seriously, you have to try this Orange Muffin Bread!] but just visiting her page makes me drool onto my keyboard. The pictures are so vivid you can practically taste them!

Just the pictures [and the recipes, of course] are a gift in themselves but Rachelle goes out of her way to do a ton of great giveaways-just recently she gave out a Grill Daddy brush but sadly, we have no grill to clean.

I We do however have taste buds that desire excellent chocolate, so her latest giveaway is definitely for me us! She's giving away Fairytale Brownies! Doesn't that sound dreamy? And all you have to do is run over to Mommy? I'm Hungry! before 7pm PST on June 10th and put your name in the comment section!

I'm so excited-these brownies would be so perfect for Hubby....

I might even give him one.
.....

Drumroll Please...

The time has come for the Name These Weekly Blog Features contest to end. Thank you everyone for your suggestions!

Monday's posts about unschooling will be featured under the title:
Mondays Our Way
[Name contributed by darling Hubby]

Tuesday's weekly polls will now be titled:
Tell All Tuesdays
[Name contributed by my lovely friend Helene from I'm Living Proof That God Has A Sense Of Humor]

Friday's feature posts about things (and people!) I love will now be titled:
Mommy's Fabulous Find Friday
[Name contributed by my new friend Robin from Robins Blue Nest]

And now, on to the electronic drawing for the first ever Mommy's Fabulous Find Friday!

Using the True Random Number Generator from Random.org and listing my followers chronologically 1-24 (WOW! 24! Thanks you guys!) the very first featured follower for Fabulous Find Friday is......

Follower Number 1 (my very first follower gets my very first featured spot? I love randomly good things!)...the fabulous and fun~

Jen from The Spoiled Housewife!

Be on the lookout for your interview questions Jen-I look forward to posting all about you next Friday!

Don't forget my other great weekly features start next week as well. First up: Mondays Our Way, which this week will feature a recipe for quiche!
.....

WARNING:Mom in Mirror May Be Larger Than She Appears

I have always been a curvy girl-and I don't mean "curvy" as in overweight (although that was the case for a while after I got the depo shot) I mean actually curvy. My sophomore year of high school my choir dress measurements were 41-29-39...and yes, the special tailoring cost extra. The disadvantage of being shaped like that is that special tailoring is pretty much always required if you want to wear a dress...and shirts are especially hard to fit as well-either it's too tight in the bust or too loose in the waist. This is why, despite being female, I have hated shopping ever since puberty set in. Nothing ever fits right.

Still, there is one hidden advantage to being shaped thusly-talk about a great way to hide a few extra pounds! Now days I certainly don't measure what I did in high school (I stand generally about 42-31-41 in my non-pregnant form) but if I gain an extra pound or two no one can really tell. It's like an optical illusion.

This is obviously really helpful after having a baby-nothing is better than people telling you how fabulous you look less than two weeks after your third baby is born-but in a way it produces a strange sort of guilt. I feel like I need to make an announcement: Attention people who are about to compliment me-I am not really that small. This is nothing but a biological cheat. While I am down below my pre-pregnancy weight, I'm still about 10lbs overweight in general. This optical illusion is only enhanced by the breastfeeding boobies of course [the Sphinx would look small next to these giant baby feeders], but no matter what people may think they see the fact remains it is my waist-to-hip ratio that makes me appear smaller than I actually am.

It's not me, it's genetics.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still take the compliment-and no matter how guilty I feel about misleading people I'll probably never fess up to my little fat camouflage trick (hey, I need ego boosts too)-but I do have that gnawing sense of guilt about it.

I'm glad I posted this-now that I've confessed to you, my bloggy friends, I feel a little better...

You guys can keep a secret, right?
.....

My Blog-Now With Shiny New Features!

I've been meaning for a very long time to write about a day in the life of an unschooling family. I even told Mama Bird waaaay back in March during the Ultimate Blog Party that I planned on blogging about it more. Since then I have been a horrible slacker (posting mostly about The Bean and how miserable I was being pregnant) and I have not written one single unschooling post! To make up for your long wait (because I know you've all been waiting with baited breath) I've decided to not only write about it, but to make it a weekly feature!

That's right, I'm making a commitment-starting next week I'm adding weekly features to my blog! Features. Plural.

[Pause for oohing and aahing.]

Too bad I can't come up with witty names for them.

[Cue 'wah-wah' game show losing music.]

Want to know what they are?

Well, one of them is about unschooling obviously-every Monday I'm going to post something about unschooling. A project we've done, a lesson we've learned, a tip, what have you. Sounds fun, right? Woo-hoo education!

On Tuesdays I'm going to put up a new poll. I know I've been slacking on these lately, but I really want your feedback-in what specific way do your children drive you crazy? Do you eat junk food while you watch the Biggest Loser ('cause I do!)? Let's get to know each other! I'll blog the results along with the new poll on the following Tuesdays.

The last feature, but certainly not least, will occur every Friday I want to do a special feature on something I think is fabulous. My first fabulous feature? YOU GUYS! Okay, so it will be a series of features. I am so excited to do this because when Mimi was the Featured SITS blogger I realized something about myself-I love when people that I care about are recognized for something. Not that it has anything to do with me, of course-the talent, in this case, was all Mimi-but it's just the part where I know this person and now someone else is recognizing how fabulous they are! I guess it's kind of like finding a book at a yard sale and then taking it home and reading it a thousand times and loving every second of it-then Googling it and finding out that it is a priceless first edition. It was awesome to begin with but now it's just...awesomer (*wince*)...to have other people appreciate it with you.

I already appreciate everyone who follows my blog-now I want everyone else to appreciate you as well! So here's what I'll do. I will use a random number generator and pull the winner 'out of the hat' (electronically speaking)...then on Wednesday I'm going to send the lucky follower a list of interview questions! Which you are totally free to decline of course, if you don't like being compared to a yard sale find. [Side note~if you do not mind the comparison but are following me in a feed you're anonymous right now-remember if you want to put your name in the computer hat please comment on this post and let me know who you are!] Then on Friday I will post your interview so that everyone can love you as much as I do!

Do you love my new features? I do...except for the part where they are nameless. Not to worry-I've decided they don't need witty names! It's quality content over catchy titles, right? Right? No? Okay, well how about this-my very first feature will be a special one:

Name These Weekly Blog Features!

That's right, if you think of a catchy name and you are willing to let me use it just go ahead and blurt it out-I'll link to you in the post revealing the stunning new name, that way all 20 people who read my blog daily will know that you are a genius. I'll run this until Thursday-if nothing comes up by then, I'll just name them myself.

Or perhaps I can convince the kids to do it. How do you feel about "Mama Baba Bye Bye" Monday? Or "Ni-Hao Tolee" Tuesday?

Don't worry, the kids and I can come up with something, if we all work together. I just can't wait to get these new features rolling!
.....

Somewhere Between C-SPAN and the Backseat

I am officially old.

The moment of realization came when I was sitting on the couch. Hubby and I were watching TV, which isn't necessarily an 'old people' thing to do, when suddenly it occurred to me-I was watching C-SPAN, and I liked it. Even worse...I was watching C-SPAN because I had Ti-Vo'd the House Appropriations Committee meeting. On purpose.

I'm pretty sure that we have been automatically enrolled in AARP.

The icing on the cake? We finished our night off with a 5 part History International documentary on The Presidents (also taking up room on our Ti-Vo next to Star Trek and Ni Hao Ki-Lan). I tried to convince myself that this was just research for homeschooling the kids, but even I didn't buy that.

It was time to face it-I am old...and a giant nerd. I should be wearing orthopedic shoes, or at the very least bifocals or a pocket protector or something.

After our highly educational (and I'll admit it, totally enjoyable) 5 hour lecture on the history of our nation's executive branch, Hubby and I decided to call it a night. That's when my youth snuck up on me.

It came from out of the sky and fell on my graying head (seriously, I have gray hair)-my husband is a smokin' hottie. Even though he is obsessed with Star Trek and he Ti-Vos the History Channel, it can't over shadow the fact that the man is gorgeous. Totally not your average old person/nerd (thanks in large part, I believe, to the fact that his geekdom is rooted in being a mechanical genius/car buff which doesn't scream 'nerd' quite as loud as say collecting argyle socks).

Since The Bean is only a week old I have my medically ordered limitations, but the doctor didn't say that we couldn't make out like teenagers in the back of a '78 Chevy. [It's okay, we're allowed to do that, we're married.] It was actually very nice. Especially after an afternoon of C-SPAN and an evening of Presidential trivia, I felt like I was in one of those commercials where the old lady throws her cane and starts dancing! Of course I would never wish to actually be 16 again, but spending some quality face time with Hubby was a nice little reminder of the good times had nearly 7 years ago when we first got together. Not mention it was also a fabulous relationship kudo-it's nice to know that after three kids and the better part of a decade we're still crazy teenagers when it comes to each other.

So, at heart, what am I-young or old? 16 or 60? Maybe a little bit of both. I won't ask Monkey for his opinion on the subject-he just told Hubby today that he thinks "Daddy is really really really old, like 15 or something".

When I watch C-SPAN I can just feel the osteoporosis coming on. I don't think that's where I really am in my life, but it's a nice place to visit and wander around-sometimes it's relaxing to sink into an aging moment.

When I look at my babies I feel old, but in a good way. Looking into the rear view mirror and seeing three little babies back there-and knowing that they're all mine-I feel pleasantly maternal, but sometimes strangely like I'm older than I am.

When I look at Hubby-really look at him, not just glance in his direction to swap information like busy parents do-I feel like I've been frozen in the moment that we met. I still get butterflies and I still find myself sighing wistfully at the thought of his kisses. If I didn't have such good control over myself, I might even write "MrsM *heart* MrM" on our grocery list.

Sometimes.

I know that I won't feel like that every moment of every day-just like I won't have endless days of senior moments, and I won't always feel pleasantly maternal-but I hope that I get to feel each of those things as often as possible because I'm beginning to think from my own experiences that it is the joy of youthful memories, the blessings of present happiness, and the comfort of a stable future that blends together to make a wonderful life.
.....

A Baby Story

I had a picture in my head of how this labor was going to go. I was going to be induced (despite my "practice runs" to the hospital I was still convinced I'd make it to induction day). I WAS GOING TO GET AN EPIDURAL!

Well, God certainly showed me.

I went in on Tuesday for my 38 week appointment and the doc checked me over. Still 3cm and 70%, the doc ended the appointment around 11:30 with a "see you next Monday"-I was definitely going to end up being induced.

Probably.

So I went about my business. I went upstairs to the L&D to drop off my registration paperwork, ran to the post office, paid a couple bills, and then ran into the store to grab some last minute supplies for labor-new socks for Hubby (that poor man goes through socks like no body's business!), a labor gown for me, premie onsies for The Bean (because our kids are pretty small, they generally wear premie clothes for the first two or three weeks even after full term), non perishable snacks, that kind of thing-when it happened. There I was at 2 in the afternoon, pleasantly moseying around the store, when all of a sudden I had this sharp pain in the top left side of my abdomen.

Maybe I'm walking too fast, I thought.

I slowed from a mosey to a crawl and continued down the isles. Then came a horrible cramp on my right side right above my pelvic bone. The cramp got stronger and stronger until it felt like it went all the way through my bone into my back. But only on one side, just like the sharp pain was only on the opposite top side. Then it went away.

Maybe I'm dehydrated?

So I go and grab some water at the water fountain. I'm only drinking the water for maybe a minute when the same pains come back...only worse. This is when I think to myself-

I don't know what this is, it doesn't feel like any contractions I've ever had, but whatever the heck it is I need to go to the hospital. Now.

One teensy problem though-I drove myself to the store. I left Hubby at home with the kids when I went to my doctor's appointment, and I can't exactly call him since we are the only living people without cell phones, but I don't want to alert any of the employees in the store to what's going on because they will then be obligated by protocol to call an ambulance which I'll have to pay $500 to drive me less than two miles across the overpass to the hospital.

It hadn't come to that, really. So instead I stood in the apparel department clutching my shopping cart waiting for the pain level to get down to the point where I could drive myself. I got trapped in the Freddy's for nearly an hour before I was able to abandon my cart, dash (okay hobble) to the car, and drive as quickly as I could (through one pink light even) back to the hospital.

Because the pain had gotten better for the moment, I decided to stop in at my doctor's office instead of heading straight for L&D. (What? I really didn't think I would go into labor on my own.) The nurses took one look at me and decided otherwise. They wrangled me into a wheelchair and ran me over to Labor and Delivery-the same nurse that I had dropped my registration paperwork off with earlier that morning checked me in-the irony escaped neither of us.

I got all hooked up to the monitor and around 4 the on call doc came and checked me out. I was 4 to 5 cm and 90%, but only contracting irregularly every 7-12 minutes...in other words, I was borderline. Yes, I had dilated-but it was less than 2 cm in 6 hours, and my contractions weren't regular. The on call doc decided to have my regular doctor swing in after clinic hours to check me out and see if we could make a decision.

Was I or was I not officially in active labor?

By the time my doctor got there at 6pm I was "pretty much" 5cm and my contractions had gotten down to every 5-10 minutes...but that apparently is still considered prelabor. My doctor told me that he could (a) break my water if I wanted him to (b)let me wait out the night and see if I finished labor on my own or (c) let me go home, but he didn't recommend that. [It's okay, I didn't feel inclined to do that either.] So I call Hubby and we talk about it, and we decide for the wait and see option, followed by a morning membrane rupture if nothing happened on it's own. My mother in law comes and gets the kids and drops Hubby off at the hospital and we are in business!

Hubby and I walk the hospital grounds. We walk and walk and walk and walk and walk. Then we go back and get hooked up to the monitor once an hour.

Then we walk and walk and walk and walk and walk.

And freeze our butts off in the rain (but it's better than burning up inside the hospital).

More walking.

Around midnight we go back in for the last time and the nurse checks us. We are 5 whole centimeters.

Woo.

At this point we decided to get some shut eye. Obviously this kid wasn't going to be born that night, so we figured we might as well get some rest for the next day. At 6:30am the doctor came in and checked me-yep, still 5cm-and he broke my water. Then he told me not to worry-I'd deliver really soon. After all, I was still contracting every 5-10 minutes and I was already 5cm and 90%. Absolutely this baby will be born soon!

According to him.

At 10:30 he came back in to check me and I was now magically, after 20.5 whole hours of labor, 6cm dilated. This was not going quickly enough. Now that my water had been broken, the risk of C-Section loomed if I didn't continue to progress. So what do they do? They brought in the Pitocin.

That's right-with The Bean I went into labor on my own AND I was induced.

Which was just fine with me, because after the Pitocin went in it was time for my very favorite part of labor and delivery-EPIDURAL TIME! I was so happy that I could have done a little jig (if I wasn't hooked up to IVs and monitors). The anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural and I laid back in my bed waiting for the waves of numbing serenity to take over the lower half of my body.

Do you know what happened instead? Nothing. Around 11 I told the nurses,

"Uh, hey. Just so you know, I can still feel my legs."

"Oh, you're supposed to be able to feel your legs," they say.

"Yeah, I know what an epidural is supposed to feel like. I've had two. I'm telling you, I'm not epiduralized."

"Well, maybe it's just taking an extra minute or two," they say. So they lay me on my side, then they lay me on my other side, leaning me back and forth like an etch-a-sketch trying to "distribute the epidural".

It was non-distributy.

The nurses still seemed unconcerned-apparently they thought I was just failing to appreciate how numb I actually was. Then they did a cervical check and I clutched the ceiling tiles in pain.

Turns out my epidural wasn't working. At all. And I was still 6cm. They had the anesthesiologist come in and give me a refill, and continued to turn me this way and that-still no happy numbing feeling.

Then he came in and gave me another booster.

And another.

And another.

I felt NOTHING! Or, rather, I felt everything! The epidural was completely useless! Non functional. Defunct. Non distributy. Not happening.

So of course, being the rational person that I am, I begin to quietly sob at the realization that I am going to have to have a natural labor. I DIDN'T WANT ONE OF THOSE! At 12 my doctor comes in and checks me and says I am still 6cm. Perhaps there is time to take out my epidural and create an entirely new line. My doctor is willing to try, so I tell him sure-that'd be great-as long as I didn't dilate 4cm in less than an hour like I did with Baby Bug.

Of course I did.

I push on the nurse light at 12:30 and tell them I'm feeling pressure and it's time to push. The nurse looks at me-sitting in bed crying silently-and skeptically says "Well, the doctor is doing a c section right now, so I'll check you". She takes one look and changes her mind in a hurry.

"It's definitely time. You're 10 and 100% and the baby is nearly crowning. We'll call the backup doctor."

As they are calling the backup doctor I can feel The Bean moving from "nearly crowning" to "abso-freakin-lutely crowned" and I start to panic.

I start yelling at the nurse-WHERE IS THE DOCTOR? WHY AREN'T THEY HERE YET?!

The doctor is on her way, she assures me.

ON HER WAY? WHY ISN'T SHE HERE?! IF MY DOCTOR IS IN SURGERY, AND HE'S THE ON CALL DOCTOR, SHOULDN'T THE BACKUP DOCTOR BE IN THE BUILDING? JUST MAYBE?!

She'll be here in a few minutes, she promises. If I want to start pushing that's fine.

I CAN'T PUSH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I PUSHED THREE TIMES WITH OUR OLDEST AND TWICE WITH OUR LAST BABY-IF I PUSH, EVEN ONCE, THIS BABY COULD FLY INTO YOUR ARMS!!!!

Again, skeptical looks from the nurse. She looks at Hubby and he just nods frantically with his eyes as wide as saucers. [He's never been through a natural birth either.] So the nurse straps on her gloves, and calls another nurse in.

ARE YOU THE DOCTOR?! PLEASE GOD, BE THE DOCTOR!

Nope, she says, I'm here for the baby-just in case. But the doctor...

YEAH, YEAH. IS ON HER WAY. WHY ISN'T SHE HERE NOW?!

They continue to say things, to which I am completely not paying attention. All I can feel is the horrible burning cramping blinding pain and the urge to murder everyone within 100 miles.

Finally, after literally 5 minutes of waiting (which of course is approximately 10 years when you're holding a crowning baby between your legs) the doctor finally shows up. She takes one look and says,

"You are literally one push away from having this baby!" She gears up quickly and tells me to push, so I do.

BIG MISTAKE. That is, by far, the most excruciatingly painful...I mean, just a ridiculous amount of pain...seriously just...it was horrifying. I had made it through my entire labor with just a pant here and a sigh there, but now I was screaming profanities that would make bikers blush at the top of my lungs. At the end of the first push I looked the doctor straight in the face and screamed

I CAN'T DO THIS, I WANT A C-SECTION!

To which the doctor replied, "Look down honey-your baby is already out!"

Lo and behold, there was The Bean. Well, her head at least. It was a perfectly round little head with a mass of beautiful brown hair-she was here! All I had to do was one more push. That changed everything!

Well not everything-I still emitted a shriek like a blond girl in a slasher flick, with some generously applied obscenities-but I managed to do one more big long push, then it was over. There she was-my beautiful daughter!


.....

Happy Mother's Day

This year Mother's Day in the house of M was just chock full of hijinx.

This morning I decided I wanted Cheese Blintzes for breakfast [mmmmm] so I whip out my mixing bowls and get to cooking [Note to self: First recipe to teach Monkey? Blintzes]. So I'm standing there, with Monkey critiquing over my shoulder about how this crepe is not perfectly round and that crepe is too big, when I notice I'm leaking a bit. I've been doing that for the last several days-just a teensy bit at a time-but since there wasn't a gush of fluid, there wasn't enough leakage to pool, and my contractions weren't getting any worse I was happy to ignore it in favor of relaxation, sleep, and blintzes. And, honestly, I didn't want to have to drive the whole way out to the hospital just to be sent home again. This was more leaking than I'd been having, but still not a gushy, pooly, drippy kind of leaking...so I decided to sit on it. [Pun only half intended.] About 20 minutes later I started having some serious levels of pressure.

Okay fine, I sighed (mostly to myself). I'll go in. Just in case. But I'm not driving all the way to the hospital if I don't have to.

I pull myself away from the crepey goodness and head over to our local urgent care office, conviniently located less than a mile from our house. I told the doc what was happening, she gave me the good-old-cotton-swab, and after about 10 minutes she came back in and said "Congratulations-your water broke! You're going to have your baby today! Better get going to the L&D to pick up your Mother's Day present."

I. Was. Seriously. So. Excited.

Sure I was in pain, but this pain was going somewhere! I was going to have this baby! And on Mother's Day~how cute was that? This was it! Round up the troops! Call the grandparents! TWITTER!!

It was, of course, too adorable to be true. I get to the L&D and they hook me up and swab me down-I'm sitting there, ants in my pants, waiting to hear that I've dilated more or they're going to start my pitocin-or better yet, hear that the anesthesologist is on his way!-when they come back in and tell me that my water didn't actually break. Oopsies.

OOPSIES?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I am absolutely certain that if I were a cartoon steam would have shot out of my ears and my head would have exploded into an atomic cloud of confetti.

I am still confused about how-exactly-one gets a false positive on a ferning test but my frustration level has come down from 'nuclear war peace talks' to 'ran out of toilet paper' so I'm okay-all because of Monkey.

When we got home, he ran up to me and said "I am so glad you're home Mommy! I love you sooooooooooooo much, and you're my very favorite. Happy Mother's Day!" Then he held my hand and took me upstairs to read him a story before he went to bed. It was a little past his bedtime (grandparents don't have to "do" bedtime) so while I was reading his eyes were getting droopy in that sweet way that babies' eyes have of doing. I closed the book and leaned over to kiss him and he threw his arms around me. He snuggled into my neck and said, "Thank you for reading that story Mommy. I love you through and through."

That's what motherhood is all about. Being so frustrated one minute you nearly burst a blood vessel and then-at exactly the right moment-being overwhelmed by the unconditional and awestruck love your child has for you.

I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!
.....

Heart of Stone

Good news folks-everything is back on track. Baby Bug's fever is entirely gone, and we're down to just antibiotics every 6 hours. She is doing great, and already back to her usual mischief.

My contractions seem to have ambled back into the land of painful but completely random-making me (slightly) more comfortable and more likely to make our induction date (now only 9 days away!!). Which means that I'll be sure to get my epidural, which means of course that I am very very pleased.

Now that The M House is no longer operating at DEFCON 1, I am happy to move my medical/labor updates to my Twitter page and return to blogging as normal. I do in fact have other things to talk about, and I know that I'm not alone when I say nobody likes a whiner.

How do I know? I polled it! A really really long time ago, but hey-I'm not on a deadline here, right? Nearly a month ago I asked you:

Admit it ...The Most Annoying Thing Your Kid(s) Do(es) is _____

and the winner is...


REFUSE TO CONTROL THE VOLUME OF THEIR VOICE...(1)
Whiiiiiiine about eeeverything.......................................................(3)
Tattle.................................................................................................(1)
Expose your parenting flaws to strangers in the grocery store (don't forget me this time mommy!).........................................................................................(0)
Attitude. Attitude. Attitude..........................................................(1)
My kid is a robot/animal (or a newborn) and has no flaws......(0)
My kid is a teenager and appears to be nothing but flaws...but I love them anyway...(0)

Whine! Oh yes my friends I can relate. Monkey has recently developed a disturbingly dramatic flair, which lends itself to a LOT of whining. His new favorite thing to say? I'm going to die. This news is almost always delivered with one hand propped on his cheek and his face tilted to the side, big Bambi eyes brimming with Oscar worthy tears. Sometimes, if I'm extra lucky, he'll even lay completely prone on the floor in an attempt to look as pathetic as possible. Then he sighs heavily and begins...

2 hours after snack:
Moooommy, I am so hungry I'm gonna die.

If I dare to turn on the TV to anything but Noggin:
Moooommy, I want a kids show or I could die.

Immediately after my parents leave from a visit:
Moooommy, if I can't go to grandma and grandpas I'm going to DIE.

Obviously, he does not understand the concept of death-this is just something he picked up from my 5 year old sister in law (remind me to thank Grandma for that later)-but it is enough to make me crazy.

So what do I do? I do the only thing I can do-I look him up and down, with equal dramatics, and then shrug and say "You look fine to me".

I'm a cold hearted mommy.
.....

The Force Is Strong With Hubby

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and kind words of encouragement during a really stressful time. You've only reinforced my words about family!

Things are pretty much back to normal now. Well-with a lot less sleep and a much higher baseline anxiety level. We have been on a pretty exhausting med schedule since getting home last night-alternate pain meds/fever reducers every 3 hours plus antibiotics every 6 hours-but our little girl has learned to pretty much sleep through her "dosings" and I've lived on less sleep. The important part is because of the meds Baby Bug's fever broke and she's staying around 99 degrees even. Today she got down and played, giggling and talking and cruising around just like normal. I was so happy to see that I actually cried with relief! Of course, she's still mostly nibbling at her food and we still have to cajole her to drink fluids-though she is LOVING the sudden influx of sugary, delicious (hydrating) Otter Pops-but other than a little food/drink hesitancy she's doing fantastic!

I have definitely gotten a lot more generally nervous and worrysome, but that's how I end up acting about long term issues. Hubby says I like to "talk them to death". He says I should "relax". Easy for HIM to say-he's the Jedi-Zen-Master "emotionally stable" one.

Everything will be fine, he says.

Don't worry about what you can't control, he says.

Look for the positive in every situation, he says.

Thanks Master Fortune Cookie, but if it's alright with you I'm going to sit here and go over every possible scenario, every possible course of action, and every possible outcome until I have more contingency plans than the Pentagon...because if that's not healthy I don't know what is.

Honestly though-I am so grateful for (if slightly sarcastic at) Hubby's strength and his quiet, exceedingly calm nature. He maintains balance in The Force, and it is good.

I'm running a little slow, and a little thin, but I'm trying to get 'up and around' to visit all of you. I'm trying hard to return to my normal routine-you know, for the next 11 days until The Bean is born and entirely destroys my schedule.
.....

Just The Facts, Ma'am

This post is not going to be witty. Or well organized. Or grammatically correct. I just wanted to let you all know what is going on over here-today has been insane.

First, we found out Hubby had to work this morning, rather than working his normal graveyard shift....which meant I had to reschedule my 11:20am doctor's appointment. Except that it turns out I couldn't do that, because my doc was booked until next Monday. I was NOT going to wait, so I decided to take the kids with me.

FUN.

Actually the kids were pretty good, considering that they're little kids and all. The doctor still gave me a big lecture about how it is so much easier if I don't bring my "other children". I wanted to look at him and say, "You know? You're so right! I should have let the big one watch the little one. He's 5 now, he really should be taking on more responsibility." Instead I said nothing.

Then he checked my cervix. I have not moved one single solitary centimeter. I have not effaced a fraction of one percent. All of the pain I've been having has done, literally, nothing. Talk about wanting to scream and yell and cry. It looks like this baby will be just like the other two. Lucky me that means I'll get to hang out until the 18th like this.

Because I took the car (so that I could get all of us to the doctor's office) that meant that I had to go pick Hubby up from work. First I cruised by the house, let Baby Bug take an hour nap while I logged my complaint about unproductive labor into Twitter, and then we ran off to grab Daddy. Everything was fine. Everything was great. I mean, it was a long frustrating day, but no big deal. Hubby always makes me feel better.

After picking Hubby up, we ran into the store to grab a gallon of milk and Hubby mentioned that Baby Bug was acting weird. I told him that I'd awakened her in the middle of a nap and he said, "Oh, that must be it."

Then we drove home. We were literally in our driveway when I turned around to tell Monkey something (I have no idea what) and I saw that Baby Bug had turned blue all around her mouth and hands, and was convulsing. Her eyes were rolled back into her head and she was entirely unresponsive. We dashed her into the house and called 911. Her seizure lasted two whole minutes this time, and afterwards she was still not responding to her name and she wasn't lifting her left arm.

The paramedics came, and Baby Bug and I went by ambulance to our hospital (Hubby and Monkey followed). Her fever (which was literally non existant an hour before) was 104.8 and her pulse was well over 210bpm. She was still mostly unresponsive, and still not using her left arm.

I was hysterical. I didn't even have the ability to go into The Mommy Zone-I just bawled my eyes out. Hubby, as always, was the rock of the entire situation while they poked and prodded and hooked Baby Bug up to about a thousand monitors. They filled her to her eyeballs with medications...and then we waited.

After about two hours, her fever came down to 101.5 and she returned to normal once again. As far as they could tell, she didn't sustain any type of permanent damage from the seizure, thank God. The bad news is that they determined it was another febrile siezure, which means she did in fact have an infection (this time it was a UTI). They said that since this has happened again, it is very likely that she will continue to have febrile seizures with most if not all of her childhood infections. And since febrile seizures often occur before any other symptoms, it means that the very first indication that she is sick is likely to be a seizure. This makes me pretty much unglued. How am I supposed to help her? How am I supposed to prevent her from having seizures if I don't even know she's sick until she has one?

Where can I buy a plastic bubble?!

Hubby has remained absolutely steadfast during this whole event, and even took off work (though we certainly can't afford it) so that the kidlets I didn't have to be alone tonight. Monkey dealt with the situation well, and I am surprised but very happy that he didn't panic as is usually his tendency in stressful situations. I could not have dealt with more panic. I am exhausted. Absolutely positively exhausted to the very center of my being in every possible way-and I have completely cracked mentally and emotionally.

However the most important thing is that Baby Bug is sleeping peacefully. She is still running a 101 fever, but is on a constant med cycle that will keep it low. When we woke her up for her last dose she was happy and normal and appeared entirely healthy except for her extra pink cheeks and her hot-to-the-touch skin. She's okay. That's what matters.

I'm off to try to get some rest, even if it's not sleep. I don't know how much I'll be around in the next couple of days, but I'll keep you all updated.
.....

Ode To My Family

As someone once agreeably misquoted to me,

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose and you can't pick your family.

This is certainly true on one level-no matter what you do, or what they do, the people you were born to don't change. There will always be these people walking around with a similar genetic make up to you (or married to those people), and there's nearly nothing you can do about it because getting rid of them is as socially awkward as picking your friend's nose.

This misquote takes on a whole new meaning for people like Hubby and I. As far as family make up goes, we are the stereotypical 20-somethings these days. Our parents got pregnant as teenagers, shot-gunned it to the courthouse, got divorced soon after, and eventually got remarried-giving Hubby and I 4 parents a piece and leaving us related by blood or marriage to literally thousands of people.

It wouldn't have been so hard if we had gotten to pick these people, but instead we end up with busy body Grandma Drinks-A-Lot, a Step Mom who is shallower than a puddle of spit, a sister who is too self centered to care about anything except for her career (including, sadly, her own husband and newborn), and a large group of genetically related people who can't be bothered when it's not about them.

It's difficult to grow up being seen as an inconvenience, and worse when you're constantly reminded that's what you are. There are a lot of people our age that have grown up this way, with disconnected families and self centered parents, and it has bred a generation where many people get bitter and decide not to have families at all. (The average age of a first time parent is now estimated to be 25-27 years old, and it is estimated by the US Census that 6-9% of married couples will remain voluntarily childless.) Those of us who do decide to have families, like Hubby and I, often struggle to create our own definition of what families are, and what they do. Obviously, to those in our position, a genetic or marital relationship (while technically accurate) is not a good practical definition of family. In today's world, blood is no longer thicker than water and marriage is easily ended (or, an opposite but equally unappealing idea, kept together miserably until death). So what does that leave us with?

We both decided (separately as children funnily enough, but our attitudes are identical) that family is an action not a genetic or legal state of being. Just because someone shares one or more parents in common with you, or marries your grandmother on the third go around, doesn't make them family. Those people are relatives.

To us, family are those people who love and support us no matter what, who are as devoted to us as we are to them, those who make our needs a priority, who are capable of giving selflessly, and people we can do these things for in return...these are not always relatives, and those who are relatives are not always family. It has been a hard lesson to learn, but it has been worth it.

Hubby and I, despite our relatives, have been blessed with a wonderful family. We have each other and we stay together-not because we "have to", not because we have a piece of paper telling us to, and not for the kids...because we love each other, we are equally devoted to each other, we give selflessly to each other, and we make each other the priority in our lives. We're family.

We give this love, devotion, and loyalty to our children because-even though we are gentically related and they didn't pick us-we want them to know that we aren't just genetic donors, we're family.

My best friend who lives in Pennsylvania is family because I can pick up the phone at three in the morning (her time) and call because my baby turned 5 and I needed someone to listen to me bawl. My husband's childhood friend, who even though he's young and busy with college and dating will still take time to ooh-and-ahh over my husband's exploits as Daddy, is family.

And, in your own way, you my bloggy friends are just like family. You come to my page, even though you're not obligated to. You let me share my stories with you. You offer encouragement. You give selflessly. Though I hardly expect you to be devoted to me, you certainly are here for me when I'm going through a rough patch.

I may have drawn a shorter straw in the genetic relations department, but my heart is full of the blessings of real family-and this is my tribute to you all.
.....

The "On" Switch

CAUTION: This post contains graphic detail about pregnancy and early labor. Seriously folks, I'm going to talk about mucus-and it's not coming out of my nose. If you're squeamish, I invite you to scroll down quickly and visit some of my other recent posts listed on the sidebar for your convenience. If you're still interested, please continue reading but remember-you've been warned.

Here I sit...just sitting. Waiting. I'm in too much pain to sleep, but I'm too tired to do much of anything else-so I'm just sitting. Well, now I'm also going to complain. I can muster up just enough energy to do that.

As those who follow me on Twitter may have noticed, I started having regular (and painful!) contractions about 8 minutes apart on Saturday at 2am (don't babies just do everything at 2am?). It seemed like a pretty safe bet that it was "time", but still I debated for about two hours whether or not to go into the hospital. I have a history of not going into labor on my own and I HATE being sent home! It's always so frustrating when the snooty nurse (she always seems snooty when she's telling me something I don't want to hear) looks at me and says "yes you are doing something, and you are in pain, but you're not doing "enough" (therefore your pain isn't valid) and you have to leave now."

But it hurts! I don't want to leave! That means I have to go home and be in more pain! For God-only-knows how long! I don't want to do that.

I don't!

I don't!

I don't!

[This is me throwing a temper tantrum.]

And so I debated. I timed contractions. I generally milled around. At 4am, my contractions were closer together and even more painful (we're talking shooting leg pains and pressure and everything) and I decided it MUST be time! So I gathered my labor bag-and congratulated myself on having it ready, though I had just packed our labor bag earlier that day-and off I went.

When I got to the hospital they hooked me up to the non-stress test and let me run with it. My contractions got down to 3 minutes apart-surely this was it! They checked my cervix and I had dilated from 2cm and 70% to 3cm and 70%...I was going to have this baby! My body was finally going into labor on it's own!

Just kidding.

Immediately after the not-snooty-at-all nurse said, "well, I think we might go ahead and admit you" my contractions started slowing. They went back down to 7 minutes apart, and I wasn't continuing to dilate or efface.

No baby for you. You're not doing enough, and your pain isn't valid. Please sign this and go home.

I don't wanna! I don't wanna! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ARG! ?!#$%^&^ Hrumph. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

My fit didn't work-probably because it was an internal fit, invisible to everyone except Hubby who can pretty much read my mind-and home I went...and here I am. I have been here for TWO WHOLE DAYS contracting every 7 minutes. I am not pleased.

I am even less pleased that I have been dealing with new and fun things which are enough to make me uncomfortable, but nothing the doctor would do anything about. For instance, I am now dripping large marble sized mucus clots like a kindergartner with allergies...but from my cervix of course...which fun for me AND the Hubsters because "bloody show" is exactly as wonderful as it sounds. [Woo.]

I also have a pain in my butt. No, not the kids-an actual literal pain in the booty area. It's kind of a throbbing pain (good times, no?) that generally just aches...until I try to sit or stand or sneeze or cough or breathe too much. Then it becomes a stabby/shooty pain and makes me make horrible noises that sound something like "ARrrgHbruhAAAaasSssshhhhhhhhGaaA" followed by heavy breathing.

Monkey and Baby Bug love this. Espeically the part where (if I am standing) I wobble like I may or may not fall over on them. Monkey called it "The Monster Game".

I am a monster. A giant pregnant monster who is so mad at everyone and no one and life that she could just cry and walk around waiting for an excuse to punch someone. Hard.

So what do I do when I get all crazy? I go online. [I know, it's an illness, but it keeps me occupied.] This time I decide to look up what makes women go into labor. I mean, maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I lack an essential hormone. Maybe I forgot to turn my uturus into the "on" position. Maybe someone forgot to tell me about the secret labor button behind my earlobe...I don't know what makes women go into labor.

Guess what I find out? They don't know either!!! Seriously! Doctors can grow a fully functioning human organ, but they have no idea what causes women to start the labor process?! You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. They've had millenniums to work on this...this is very disappointing progress.

Just like my "labor".
.....

Absolutely Ready (I Think)

Do you have any idea what I accomplished today? I finally packed my labor bag! *PHEW!*

It turns out that I hadn't remembered to buy one, but luckily I do have the one we used with Baby Bug (which even still contains unused travel sized toothpaste....another indication the girls might be too close together). Since there are only 16 days or less until The Bean arrives (!) It is certainly a load of my mind to have it done.

Kind of.

Is it terrible that this is my third kid, my second in less than two years, and I have no idea what to put into a labor bag? I think it might be terrible. In my defense, after having several children I've learned that the hospital supplies basically everything you need minus a car seat and clothes. They provide it, just in case you don't pack it....moms of second and subsequent children don't pack it because we know they provide it....it's a vicious cycle.

*3 different outfits for baby (planning for varying weather/poop emergencies)
*3 different baby blankets (for reasons above)
*Camera (if you're lucky enough to have one-don't forget to bring batteries!!)
And....uh....and....that's it. I guess. What do you guys think? Is there some essential something that was eaten by baby brain, or has experience just weeded out the unnecessary foof?

.....

The Picture of Kindness

Some of you may remember my freak out about not having a digital camera before going into labor. Then of course there was my general complaining about not having a digital camera, and my subsequent decision to join the Five Minutes For Mom Mother's Day Giveaway...in which I could win a digital camera (or an HP Mini 1000).

To those who remember my general self pity and whining I say thank you for putting up with me. I'm going to blame it on hormones, but please note-it is almost certainly a character flaw unrelated to pregnancy.

There is though one special person that I must give the HUGEST THANK YOU EVER to-Kirsty from Momedy.

She is, quite possibly, the world's sweetest blogger. She went out on a limb and loaned her digital camera to whiny, self involved little me-a stranger for all intents and purposes (though I don't feel that my blog friends and I are total strangers!). What an unbelievably selfless and generous thing, am I right?

Thanks to her, all of the pictures in this post are actually me! I can take belly pictures, and pictures of our family, and pictures of The Bean when she is born. I cannot say a big or sincere enough thank you to Kirsty-all I can do is let you know that if you don't know this lady you should.

At the very least, visit her blog and maybe give her extra support for her entry into the Mom Logic Mother of All Bloggers Competition. After all, someone who does such great things deserves great things to happen for her.

Right?

Of course right.

[On an entirely separate note-can anyone name the musical the last two lines are from?]
.....